Butch
There once was a tale of a coven of witches whose human sacrifices caused everyone’s internet to go out.
V
I heard it told that the human was evil and put a hex on the internet
Butch
I know that it definitely involved a dagger formed from an asteroid.
V
I can add to that, start fresh. The dagger was brought form deep within the mountains on a moon eons away
Butch
Through a rift in time and space that only a virgin could walk through when the stars where aligned.
V
Under a red skyline on the fifth Sunday, a being with three digits carried it forth
Butch
And was immediately raped by a roaming band of crazed monkeys who wore diapers on their head.
V
Moaned & groaned through the assault and bingo wamo a litter of three digit crazed monkeys were abound after only a 5 minute pregnancy term
Butch
This litter then spread across the land like the plague in search of skittles which were not invented yet. Which caused more raping in anger
V
The race grew to over flowing #s and lived off the hair of the dead. These beings came to be known as the Human race.
Butch
When skittles finally where invented, one lone three digit bastard that had survived the entire time came forth with the strange dagger.
V
The three digit bastard pulled behind him a red wagon full of the newly invented skittles &the Dagger hanging from his belt loop to New York
Butch
His goal was to take an upskirt pic of the statue of Liberty & he thought to either bribe her with skittles or cut the robe with the dagger.
V
Once reaching the statue he tried to get under the skirt,but soon realized the old bag wouldnt show any skin,so he threw the skittles at her
Butch
The sound of a wagon load of skittles pelting the statue caused a panic that spread citywide. Fearing possible attack on the monument.
V
Rain came down & the colored skittles,tye dyed the statues skirt.The three digit bastard was overcome with lust & hunger he licked her clean
Butch
The citizens of New York where so disgusted by the display that they send in the A-Team and MacGuyver on a joint mission to take him down.
V
Once he licked the last toe he used his massive brain power to bring forth all the ball point pins & duct tape so as MacGuyver had no weapon
Butch
This overexerted the poor bastard and he suffered a brain aneurism and died on the spot. The A-Team swooped in and stole the dagger.
V
But before he went, he shoved a ball point pin in MacGuyver’s foot. The dagger now in the A-teams hand, who tried to sell it on Ebay for $20
Butch
The price was bid up so high by Satanist around the country that the A-Team bought a small island and retired to bugger each other.
V
A midst all the buggering between the A-Team a new species was created and came to be known as the Twilight sparkling vamps.
Butch
And all of the soccer moms and teenage daughters worshiped them. Inventing glitter dildos so that they could get the whole experience.
V
Sadly making enough money from the glittery dildos that they made a movie about the fake sparkled ones and the dagger came to kill them all.
Butch
There was much rejoicing. So much in fact that it brought about peace on a global scale. Everyone threw down arms and embraced enemies.
V
The skies opened up and skittles fell down like rain as the celebration raged on. The dagger was pronounced President of the United states.
Butch
And it led the whole race of man back to its home on the far away moon where they were all served up as rich delicacies.
V
Where they covered them in ketchup and chocolate syrup with a hint of garlic and cloves.The Dagger then soaked in a heated tub with a fork.
Butch
The dagger ended up cutting the fork a new tine and was brought up on charges of abuse. It defended itself by poking holes in all the spoons
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