Healing

Butch

-I was locked in an endless loop of sickening images. It seemed so cruel that my dreams would tell me that my love was at my I could even hear his voice floating through a dark tunnel. The twisting agony at the pit of my stomach continued to work a number on internal organs. It had crept into every fiber of my being like a thief. Stealing everything that I used to consider was me… mine. Using my own desires against me to shoot me full of hideous images. I saw the starved female lunge at my throat, assuring her own death. I had killed her. An innocent life at my feet, thrashing on the floor in a hideous display of torture. As if that weren’t bad enough, the images changed and it was Vishous there on the floor. His body constricting in pain. The look on his face the same as the female’s. Complete horror, loathing and fear over what I had done to him. My back arched and I shouted to God himself to spare V. To take me instead. I fell back down and curled into the fetal position. Ruined arms closing around my head in a vane attempt to block the nightmares- 

Vishous

Stretching my arms out behind me some, working the bunched muscles out some. I looked down at the new handy stitch work on Butch’s neck, the fucking female had almost tore his damn vein out so the black threads ran about 2 inches long. Pulling the white sheet down over his freshly sponge bathed body, making sure I had washed away every trace of the black tire from his skin. Sliding the sheet back up and looking down Butch, I braced my hands on the edge of the gurney, my shoulders hunched forward, all the different scenarios started zipping through my head, with each one I hunched down lower. All night I kept shoving that stuff into the back of my head, I knew there was no way in hell I could find Butch if I slipped down that mindset. But now it all came crashing down on me like a series of avalanches, knowing that I could have lost him tonight was fucking my head up hard not to mention the ass kicking my heart was taking. Drawing my eyes down when I see your body start to twitch, I stand back up but before I can move another inch, Butch was coming up off the simple gurney in almost back breaking arch but the words that tore from you gripped me hard & I lunged forward wrapping my arms around your tightly balled up body “I’m here Butch, come on man, come back to me“ The words fell out freely  “I can’t do this shit life without you Nallum, fight this stuff, I know somewhere in there you can hear me. “ Fighting back the savaged growl that pounded in my chest as my mind flashed back to Butch hanging painfully from them chains and the deathly sweet smelled that was seeped deep inside you, Gods the hell he had lived through was too much

Butch

-I felt arms close around me and I wasn’t entirely sure of where I was or what was going on. I was almost positive that the lesser still had me and I was simply being moved. My body locked up automatically to protect itself. Then I heard the voice speaking to me, almost pleading with me. Even if it was a dream, at least it wasn’t a nightmare this time. For the moment… God, I could even smell him through the stinking filth that had invaded my body. I clung to every sense with a heart that beat so fast it almost jumped free of my chest. My eyes finally opened and I almost burst into tears like a blubbering idiot. The eyes that pierced through everything looked down at me.-Vishous…? -I almost didn’t believe it. Did he actually come for me like I had dreamed? It seemed almost too much to hope for. My hand trembled as I reached up to touch his face. A tear rolled down my cheek when I felt the familiar features. If this wasn’t real, I’d be damned if I wasn’t going to enjoy it while it lasted. My thumb ran over the tattoos around his eye. I swallowed a lump in my throat and licked my dry lips before attempting to speak again.-You look rough, Nallum. -Choking out a laugh that hurt like a son of a bitch.-

V

Pulling my head back some feeling Butch start to uncoil only a little bit. My face a mask of fucked up emotions and I choke back a painful groan seeing the tear roll down Butch’s face. Still not letting go, hell on earth couldn’t make me let go. A throatily Chuckles rips out hearing Butch “Not as rough as you man, but still fucking hot to me ” Dropping my head down a little “Thanks for coming back to me Butch “ Shaking my head some.

Butch

Like I would ever leave you. Too damn stubborn. -My breathing hitched painfully and I struggled to swallow. The pain is what told me- Not… not a dream… I’m actually here? -My hand dug into V’s hair with what little strength I had-

V

‘I was counting on that” Lowering my head down, laying my forehead softly on Butch “You’re really here Butch, what do you say we get the poison out of you, you’re really ranking right now ” Grins crookedly Raising my head back up, clearly seeing the excruciating pain written on Butch’s face. My voice lowers a notch “I can’t erase all the shit but I can take that shit outta you Nallum”

Butch

-I meet V’s eyes, blinking a few times to clear my own. My jaw works a few times before I actually manage to talk through shallow breaths- You do more than you think you do. -Smiling and closing my eyes. Completely giving up any control that I had over my body and going limp. Safe… I was safe now. I could relax. He had me-

V

Raising up to my full height feeling the surrender flow through Butch, I pull my glove off and lay it on your legs, grumbling doubtfully, glad that you seem kind gone and not really focused “Yeah didn’t do enough to stop this from happening, did I“  Taking a hold your hand in mine, sliding my fingers through yours and gripping on tight. I take a deep breath and let the energy flow through me, my hand glowing bright as it radiates out and I push it through to Butch. It was in these times that the connection was stronger than anything I had ever experienced or witnessed before.

Butch

-I almost flinch when your hand comes in contact with my legs. Forcing myself to relax further as the sickness in me flees from your hand. I open my eyes when you take my hand, staring up at you through the brilliant radiance. I squeeze your hand and give myself over completely to you. I let out a long breath and my stupid eyes start leaking again. An incredible peace settles over me like nothing ever that could ever compare. I bring your hand down to my chest, willing you to share the feeling. Pure love and adoration in gaze. Something that no words could ever truly express.-

V

Smiles a genuine smile looking down Butch “That’s it Butch, let that rot gut out ” Rubs my thumb down the wet streaks on your face eye blindingly bright. A sense of calm slipping in on me “Soon Nallum, you will be guzzling Lag and throwing come backs at me”

Butch

-my mouth tries to work a few times before I manage- Love you… -I close my eyes and sink into a welcomed bliss that I can only get from you. I wet my dry lips and smile- Only if you are buying.

V

Hooking my foot around the leg of the chair behind me and dragging it to me “Rest now Butch, I’ll be right here chilling with you”, keeps a hold of Butch’s hand as I sit down next to the bed, a hearty chuckle fills the room at your last words “Always man”

Butch

-My grip on your hand lessens but I don’t let go. Turning my body toward you & lapsing into a deep sleep with a small smile-