A brother down….

Vishous
It had been a couple days of sitting around and healing since shit hit the fan at the Police Station, the knife wounds were now feint scars and the multiple feedings I had once I reached the other side had definitely kicked in the healing process. My eyes scanned the Pit and even before I looked through each open doorway I knew Butch was not in the vicinity. I had to force myself to stay on the leather couch and not go bounding after him like my internal nature was demanding me to. Since coming back to the Pit that night I had held, shit no, I had basically locked my male down to me and rarely let him out of my line of sight even to take a piss. After returning to the Manse that night I had felt this overwhelming need to stay as connected to Butch as I could and fuck I felt like some needy female for this shit. It wasn’t about being chained or stab like a piece of raw meat, fuck that was a day on the job at times, no it was the coming back and for a moment feeling my male shut down on me that had me holding him like there might be no tomorrow. I could still vividly feel the walls slide up around him and how he looked at me with nothing more than a blank stare, nothing else had hit me as hard as that. I would rather have Butch yelling and going off on me then to just shut down and pull away from me. Shaking my head I flipped the channel on one of the screens in front of me, even though I wasn’t watching the fucker and I heard the knock at the Pit door then seconds later it was followed up with the voice of Rhage calling through it. I kicked my feet up on the table and without moving unlocked the door and had it slide open easily. I hadn’t talk to the Brother much lately, been on different schedules and if I was honest I knew I had been keeping myself and Butch away from the Manse. I liked this whole Butch wearing no clothes around the Pit and touching and fucking each other when and where we wanted, up at the Manse I would be limited to what I could do to him so I said fuck all that shit and stayed in our own little world. Not saying it was right but it was what it was and two mated people always locked themselves together, it was our way and I dare anyone to challenge me on that shit. Still yet when Rhage stepped through the door and it closed behind him, I could tell right off that something was off with the male. The usual smart ass comments weren’t rolling off his tongue and his shoulders were stooped over low like he carried the weight of the world on them. I slid up straighter on the couch and let my bare feet hit the carpeted floor as I waved a hand at the couch for him to take a seat. “What’s doing Brother?” His heavy footfalls almost fell silent on the plush carpet as he made his way over and practically fell on the couch like it was the most needed thing at the moment. When he looked over at me I braced myself, those eyes were as lost as I had ever saw them and I knew shit was not good. ‘Look man, I..um was hoping to catch a few words with you, maybe you could help me out or some stuff, ya know.’ I turned around half way on the couch and laid my arm up on the back of it as I waited for him to continue and when he didn’t I spoke up. “Well man that help isn’t going to come if I don’t what it is, and I sure as fuck am not going to reach down your throat and pull your words from you, so spill it already because damn you are depressing the fuck out of me.” His head nodded some as he looked between his hands which were lying loosely in his lap and then up at me. ‘I feel out of sorts, like things around me aren’t flowing right, even when I’m out there hunting, my head isn’t in the game and the other night that about cost me some skin. And fuck man don’t get me started on the shit with Piper.’ He groaned and looked back down at his hands and I sit there and watched him for a minute. “Brother I am not your therapist but I will listen, not that I am much good at this shit but you have me in your corner just so you know.” When he looked back up at me he was grinning some but it was nowhere near the smile that usually lit up the big as fuck male’s face. ‘I need to go for a while V, I need to get away from here, from it all and pull my shit together. I know the state my heads at now is not good, and it’s not Piper, but everything. I feel disconnected from it all and right now I know I am more of a hindrance and a risk than help. Piper is a good woman, and damn she fits right in with the crazies around here but I know I can’t give her what she deserves. I thought in time I would feel that whole “Bonded male” thing but I haven’t and if it hasn’t happened yet then I know inside me that it won’t.’ My black tatted brow cocked up and I shook my head as I listened. “Rhage that is something you can’t force to happen, shit you know that, hell when Butch came through that door up in the Manse, it was the last thing I expected, but also I knew I wanted that male for my own and would rip anyone to shreds with my hands if they so much as hurt him. As far as your head being fucked, no damn doubt you don’t need to be on the streets, we only have a few of us in numbers and we need to keep what we have. You name it and if I can help then you know I will.” He nodded and his big body turned some on the couch to almost mimic my position I was in. ‘I need to regroup; I need to just be me for a time, if that makes sense. I was wondering about going and staying in one of Darius’s houses, that way I am not too far away but yet I have some down time with just myself around you know. I mean I would need to have a Doggen because I need to eat but right now I just need to clear the blockage in my brain and put things back together.’ I stood up and looked down at the Brother who had, had my back more times than I could count and grinned knowingly. “I feel ya man, wait here I will hook you up.” I walked to the room that use to be mine and now was and office/security central and grabbed the codes for the locks at one of the Brotherhood properties and came back to the Pits living room. I handed over the info and address to Rhage and sit back down how I had been. “This one hasn’t been used in a fuck long time and is wired to the T with feed, I did it myself so I know you are all set up, the security there almost mimics what we have here just a smaller place so you already know how to use it all. And talk to Fritz about which Doggen that can go with you, you know he will make sure the location is fully stocked and ready and give your someone that can cook for an army. Just know you have my number if you need me Brother, hell we all get to this stage at one point or many points. Nothing wrong with getting some downtime, you deserve it so take it and chill your head out so you can come back and kick some ass with us, True?” That grin seemed to get a touch bigger as he took the info and listened, still yet as I looked at my Brother I could clearly see the spark that made Rhage, Rhage was not there and that shit didn’t bode well or sit well with me. Yeah I didn’t like this shit at all, my Brothers were my family the only family I had ever had and when one was fucked, we all were. We relied and leaned on each other more than we liked to admit but it was a fact and not just some pretty sentiment. Hell of we didn’t then there is no way in the fade we would have made it this far or our race for that matter. We might be broken inside as males but when we were broken as Warriors then that was an issue that affected us all. When he stood up I did to and the next thing I knew he was grabbing me in a tight as fuck hold, I grunted out a breath and returned the hold before letting go. His head was somewhat bowed down as he stepped back. ‘Thanks V, I needed someone to understand.’ My dark head shook a little because fuck I did understand, how many times did I escape to my Penthouse to battle the shit that was inside me, yeah we all had our inner turmoil and every now and then they screamed to be dealt with, right now it was Rhage’s that was shouting from the rooftops and I sure as fuck would help in any way possible. “Like I said Rhage, you know my number use it.” He nodded one last time before he turned and left the Pit. I slouched back down onto the couch and let my head fall on the back of it. Fuck, I hated to see a brother in that state, but I had no damn doubt that Rhage being the male that he was, he would come out on the other side and be right back here where he belonged.