Vishous
I stepped out of my second shower of the night, grabbing a clean towel and wrapping it around my waist. I headed out to the bedroom and looked at the doorway that led into the living area, it was quiet, and not a sound so I figured Butch must still be passed out. Rolling my head around my shoulder’s I just raked a hand through the dark wet locks and lay down on the unmade bed. I glanced around the room and could even see out into the Pit since it was a wide open floor plan. At some point I was going to have to let the Doggen in, the whole place had the look of a semi war zone. The talk with Wrath had been playing in my head, and the one thing I regretted was pushing the Brother away, that shit was on me. Just that whole part about stepping back was leaving a bad taste in my mouth. Me stepping back and just letting shit with Butch fall where it will wasn’t settling in my mind at all.
Butch
-I told V that I would rest but I’d been laying on the couch listening to Vishous and Wrath talk about how fucked up in the head I was. It was rough hearing the pain that was evident in my male’s voice. There was one good thing about listening to the conversation, I’d made a decision. I sat up on the couch and waited while Vishous took a shower. I could hear the water and imagine what it looked like running over that sexy body. It took everything in me not to join him but the conclusion that I’d come to needed to be something that I stuck to and it needed to start here and now. I wasn’t entirely sure if the idea had come from a point of clarity or not but that was something that I always struggled with now. I looked down at my finger and spun the ring that had so quickly become a part of me. I swallowed the lump in my throat and stood up when I realized that he’d finished his shower. I stood at the door way and cleared my throat. This wasn’t a conversation that I wanted to have but I felt that it needed to happen.- We need to talk. -I came over to the bed and sat down on the edge with my back to him and my shoulders hunched over.-
V
My lids raised when I heard the soft shuffle of Butch’s movements into the bedroom. I was on the verge of grinning but something cold seeped through me. Not sure if it was the motions or the scent around Butch but it hit home when the words seeped in. I scooted up in the bed and looked at the back that was presented me.
Butch
-I took a deep breath and tried to keep my voice steady.- You’ve put up with a lot of shit from me lately and I don’t want you to think that I’m not grateful for it… Shit… I don’t even know how say this. -I stared down at my fingers nervously.- I have to get out of here. I’m losing who I am. -I licked my suddenly dry lips and turned a little to look at you. My voice was so low, I barely heard it.- I don’t just mean out of the Pit. I need to get out… on my own…
V
I took in all the words, from the grateful bullshit to the losing yourself, but after that I cut the rest out and refused to hear them. NO my mind growled out but other than that I stayed still, not moving a finger as I locked my icy eyes on Butch. Finally I spoke, it was simple. “NO”
Butch
-I cringed inside and out. I knew this would be the reception and I sure as fuck didn’t blame you. I licked my lips again and tried to start over.- I’m not talking about… -my brow furrowed as I searched for the right word- … I’m not breaking up with you, nallum. I just need some time to get my head straight. I dunno, stay at Darius’s old place. I know you have that place wired up. -I turned back around and ran my fingers through my hair.- Fuck, this isn’t any easier for me you know.
V
Here it was exactly as Wrath had said and for a second I had to wonder did the King have some kind of his own visions. No, I banished that thought and try as hard as I might want, still I couldn’t wrap my head around what Butch was saying. It all felt fucked up and more wrong then any shit I had dealt with to date. “You need to get away from me, I get it.” I bypassed Butch and moved to the other side of the bed and got up. Sitting down right now was not an option, fuck was anything an option than to going through this. I walked into the closet and grabbed some leathers and another T-Shirt, I’ll be fucked if I get ditched wearing a damn towel. I dressed in record time and came back out carrying my boots.”Yeah cool, Darius’s place is all yours man”
Butch
-I felt like I’d been punched in the stomach. Somewhere in here I needed to fix this before shit snow-balled out of control. I watched you disappear into the closet and come out fully dressed and I immediately shot up off the bed.- No, you don’t get it. -I closed the distance between us and stood my ground in front of you as I’d once done so often.- I stay here and I will let you take care of me until I’m old and gray. -I stared straight into your eyes, hoping you would understand.- But I’ll never hold a dagger again… I won’t be a warrior. I’ll be a senile and useless. Since I’m a vampire now, I’d imagine that would last a very long time.
V
I just shook my head, even though I was now hearing more of the words that Butch was speaking, still it wasn’t meshing with how my brain was hard wired. I looked straight into those deep hazel eyes of the male that I had opened up to and felt like the very ground I stood upon was being cut out from under me.”You know where to find me when you are done Butch.” I stepped around Butch and took a seat on the bed so I could pull on my shit kickers. I laced them up and kept my head down as I tried to shake the look that was in Butch’s eyes. “Just so you know, you will always be a warrior, even if you never picked a blade up again, its who you are.”
Butch
Fuck! -I stood there watching you put your boots on and I couldn’t take it anymore, I took the steps to stand in front of you and dropped down to my knees. My shaking hands reached up to the sides of your face and I pressed my forehead to yours.- I don’t WANT to go, Vishous. I NEED to go. We are tearing each other apart here. Please… it’s important to me that you understand why I’m doing this. Take a trip through my head if it will help. I love you. If you tell me now that you want me to stay here, like this, I will.
V
I let my forehead rest against yours as if all the energy had been drained from me and I just closed my eyes, the first that thought that filtered through my head was, when would be the next time I’d be able to touch you. I kept my arms resting on my thighs. “You have part of that wrong Butch, you don’t tear me a part, you My Nallum are what keeps me together, mind, body and….heart.” I nodded at the same time I quit resisting the urge to feel and finally let my hands grip your sides. “But I get that you need to go and heal, just don’t ask or expect me to embrace this.”
Butch
Vishous… -I swallowed another lump in my throat, or tried to at least. Nothing about this was getting any easier and for the thousandth time I wondered what the fuck I was doing.- I don’t expect you to like it. I frickin hate it. -My hand moved to the back of your neck with a firm grip- I will ALWAYS be yours. And I will come back to you as soon as I can.
V
All I could do was nod with the tight grip you had on my neck. “Just wait till after I leave, no way I’d let you out that door if I was still here.” I forced my head up and angled my head just slightly as I closed the bare inch between us and brought my mouth down over yours. And there it was again, that thought blaring in my head that this could be the last time I felt this. My canines punched through, piercing your tongue when it did and I groaned as I tasted the small drop of your blood as my tongue slid along that very spot. I pulled back and let go of your sides as I stood up abruptly and sidestepped around you, grabbing my holster and jacket off the chair I looked over at you. “I love you Cop, see you when you figure your shit out.”
Butch
-I leaned in to your kiss and poured my whole damn soul into the too simple act. It felt like such a final act and it tore through me. I fell forward on the bed when you moved and turned my head to look up at you.- Do me a favor before you leave? Give me my daggers back. -The daggers that you made just for me. That you spent so much time making. I needed them and I couldn’t exactly say why. I really didn’t want to watch you walk out the door once more but I knew that it was my doing and I had to suck it up.- I love you too, my Hellren.
V
Nodding I walked to the doorway.”They’ll be on the bar.” I walked out of the bedroom that had been ours for the past six months and went to the one that use to be mine alone and retrieved the blades from the safe and left them where I said I would before leaving the Pit and Butch.
Butch
-I forced myself to watch Vishous leave and buried my head in the mattress after I heard the door close. It took me awhile before I could move from the position that I was in. After what seemed an eternity, I stood up and walked into the bathroom. I leaned against the tile of the shower and let the hot water spill over my back.- I hope to God I made the right decision. -I stayed there until the water ran cold and when I came back out I felt like a zombie. I put a suit on for the first time since… since I’d danced with Vishous. Fuck… this was going to suck. I packed a bag, not really sure how long I would be gone. I almost tore the whole Pit apart looking for our Sox cap and I held it to my nose before putting it on. It was really V’s hat but we had both used it so often that it smelled like us. I stopped at the bar, my hand hovering over the daggers and instead of grabbing them up right away I reached inside my shirt and pulled out my saint medallions from around my neck. I set them on the bar and took the daggers before I could think better of this whole frickin thing. I made a quick stop at Wrath’s office to let him know where I would be. I didn’t stay long enough to have any long draw out talks. My bags got tossed in the back of the Escalade and I left the mansion. I adjusted the mirror, looking back at the large building.- I swear, I’m coming back.
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