Well Rested

Butch

-I woke from a blessedly nightmare free day and rolled over to stare up at the ceiling. Of course that sent a huge shock through my system because my ass was still stinging and sensitive. My eyes rolled clear back in my head and I automatically arched off of the bed. I almost swallowed my tongue holding back curses that wanted to pour out. Normally I might complain about a lingering injury but this was something completely different. This was the kind of thing that you wore proudly the next day and even on through the week depending on how fast it healed. I’ll tell you one thing, I was racing out to feed. I wanted this sting for as long as I could keep it. My only regret was that I’d passed out before I could feel his pelvis slamming full force against me. Pain and pleasure, something I would have never found with a female, I would have never allowed it. The very thought of me giving over to some chick was laughable. But with V there was no denying the dominance in that male. He oozed it in thick waves that could easily have me crawling across a floor on my hands and knees just at a look from him. I probably would never tell him that though. It was hard enough for me to step over lines and for some reason it seemed somehow like a complete defeat if I admitted to him that I liked it. Of course that meant probably meant that I should. I carefully eased back down on the bed and let the slow burn set in. I knew that I was rock hard without even looking down my body. I could still feel each slap of his hand on my skin in vivid detail. I had been doubtful of how any of this was meant to help me before last night. I could have had V stop at any point and there were a few moments when I almost did. Somewhere along the way I had just let go. The only thing that I could think to compare it to was that it was like trying to swim against a current. You could go and go until your muscles screamed from the pain or you could give up control and let the water carry you where it would. You don’t make it to the other shore where you originally thought you would but when you hand yourself over you still can make it to the other side. Sure it was scary, hell you’d already fought so hard to make it to where you were. But there was a beautiful peace to it as well. Almost as if your reward for coming this far upstream was that you could kick back and relax now. I would have never let go if V wasn’t there though. There were so many lines and boundaries that I had crossed since meeting Vishous. I remembered the first time we’d kissed. Such a simple thing was so taboo for me back then. I look back on it and laugh now but at the time it had practically burned a hole through my chest. It wasn’t like sneaking under the bleachers to still a kiss from a cheerleader. It was closer to grabbing on to a fire that could totally consume you in one hot rush. Cross one line, cross another, keep crossing, soon there just are no more lines. I wet my lips and blinked some as I rolled that around in my head. That was really the goal wasn’t it though? There shouldn’t be any lines between Vishous and I. If there were boundaries and walls there it was because I had set them up long ago and it wasn’t fair to him. I’d admitted a lot to him last night but I still had one terrible thing that I needed to just come out with. I’d hinted at it and he might have even figured it out, he was a genius after all, but that wasn’t the same as being able to actually talk about it with him. To look him in the eyes and say the ugly things that I didn’t want to admit to him or myself. That was really my true test and after last night I could actually see it in front of me now. It still scared me shitless but before I couldn’t even bring myself to see the event. I knew one thing for sure; my love for Vishous was equal to his love for me. It was an incredible high that gave me the courage to do anything.-