V
My leaning against the wooden headboard, one leg bent and the other stretched out in front me, with the black sheet lying haphazardly over my waist only and my arm laying precariously over my upraised knee with my cell held in it. This is the position I had been in for the last 3 hours, the whole should I or shouldn’t I bit, circling in my head. It would be as easy as a press of a button on my phone, not like I hadn’t hacked into the phone records and already had the Cops cell number, shit I even had the fucker programmed in my phone already. My head turned to the clock and a frustrated grunt erupted, not that I needed the clock to tell me there were still many hours left of daylight, but seeing the confirmation just drove it home. “Fuck it.” Sliding my index finger over the touch screen, I pulled up Butch and went for broke and pressed called. Now all I could do was wait in this suspended are you fucking crazy mind state until the other line picked up or went through to the hated VM.
Butch
-I sat in the car waiting for Jose to return with the ever classic coffee and donuts. I hadn’t heard anything back from the mysterious group that the kid from the other night had promised to talk to. The questions still hung in the air and kept me from getting a proper nights sleep. I flipped down the visor to check myself out in the mirror hoping that the bags under my eyes weren’t too noticeable. I scratched my fingers through the stubble on my face. Hell, I must have completely forgotten to shave when I stumbled out of bed this morning. No wonder Jose was giving weird looks. He knew enough not to pry but I know that he worried about me. Not a lot that I could tell him that would ease his mind unless I straight up lied to his face. I might just go that route anyway. I heard my phone go off and I had to pat myself down to figure out where the hell I’d put it. Memory’s always the first to go they say. Ugh. I finally located it and scowled at the info on my screen. Big fat nothing on telling me who the shit was calling. I’d passed out a lot of business cards lately though so I guess I shouldn’t be surprised. I hit the button and pretended like I was actually awake.- Detective O’Neal here. What can I do ya for?
V
I counted the seconds that ticked off in my head, from the beginning of the first ring and almost dropped the phone when I heard the Cops voice kick in, and I lost my number place. Irritation was strong as fuck in the tone that answered on the other end and I grinned instantly.” How’s it going Cop”
Butch
-I almost dropped the phone when I hear the smooth as silk voice on the other end. I twisted around in my seat to see if Jose was coming back yet. My heart stood up and made itself known. So goddamn loud I was sure it could be heard on the other end of the line. When I didn’t see my partner, I finally managed a croaked out answer that made me sound like I was smoking again.- Same shit, different day. You keeping your nose clean Vishous? -I squeezed my eyes shut at the response. Fucking stupid…-
V
A slow horse chuckle poured out when I heard the slight fumble with the phone on the other end, I could just about picture that shit. Picking up my lighter, I absently flipped the lid open and shut repeatedly, the urge to see the mouth the words were coming out of, was some invisible powerful stuff. “You worried about me Cop?, thinking one night I might be one of the scum’s you drag in.” The chuckle only deepened and I found I was enjoying the fuck out of this.
Butch
-I shifting in my seat, trying to get comfortable.- Maybe not the common verity scum, but the thought had occurred to me. -I instantly felt bad about even saying it but some air needed to be cleared or I would choke to death.- I mean it’s not like I know jack shit about you. Other than the fact that you are a great kisser that is. -I couldn’t keep from smiling at that memory despite how worried I might be.-
V
Grabbing up a hand rolled to go with the lighter in my hand; I placed the tightly rolled one between my lips and inhaled deeply when I lit fire to the end. Exhaling even slower, I thought about that first statement a second.”Butch, have you tried asking me? Not that I would spew my life out, but I can go for some basic shit for you.” Wetting my lips with my tongue before taking another drawl, and when I heard that last statement, I heard that small as hell groan slip out and my hand tightened on the cell.” I’m up for changing that word ‘great’ into another, that means there’s room for improvement Butch.”
Butch
-I could hear the inhale and exhale on the other end. My eyes closed as I pictured the image in my head and I could almost smell the turkish tobacco.- So tell me, Vishous… -Rolling the name on my tongue, liking the way it sounded.- What is it that you do for a living? -I completely forgot about my partner when I heard the groan.- Does that mean I will be seeing you again? -Trying to hold back the eager tone in my voice.-
V
Sliding my arm behind my head, I moved down lower on the headboard, and was on the verge of asking for my name to be said again or maybe 10 times more from them lips I wanted to suck back in to my mouth. On that thought my voice came out more gravelly.” Not much different than what you do Cop, chase down bad ones, and serve out justice. I’m sure your mind is taking a nose dive on that one.” Chuckling, I take another drawl before answering the other.” Do you want to see me again Butch?”
Butch
-My brow shot up at the thought that we may actually be on the same side of things. For some reason I hadn’t even considered that. I chewed on my lip some as I thought about the other group that I might possibly be meeting up with. Warning bells went off in my head and I had to remind myself that I had no idea what I was stepping into here. The sexy as hell twist to your voice had me shoving that all aside in the classic way that your brain shuts down when your junk starts doing the thinking for you.- I hope that I didn’t give you the impression that I wouldn’t want to see you again. It’s not every day that just walk up to a guy and lay one on him. -I had to glance back over my shoulder again to make sure I was alone. This shit had me uncomfortable enough without it making the rounds at work. I was actually glad that Jose was taking his sweet time.-
V
Butting the end out, I laid back with one hand holding the cell to my ear and the other behind my head.”What are you doing tonight Cop?” Fuck I could have head butt the wall at how quick I jumped on that, real cool V, keep acting like a bitch. Dropping my upraised knee down to the bed, I rushed on, with my tone taking on more of harder bite to it.”Look if your on the job tonight, no big, I had some down time and shit.” Pulling my arm out from behind my head, I scrubbed my hand down my face.”So yeah, you know what I mean Butch.”
Butch
-I didn’t want to let on that my stomach flipped over and started on an endless roll at that thought of seeing you again. I knew I had it bad when I heard the rustle of sheets and automatically pictured you sitting in bed while you were talking to me. My eyes closed as I sank into the image. I damn near shit my pants when I hit the horn on the steering wheel. Jumping straight back into reality and clearing my throat, trying to hide my embarrassment. Smooth, Butch. Real smooth.- I should be off later if you want to meet up somewhere. -I left off the silent ‘somewhere public where I won’t be tempted to rub up on you’. I needed to take this a hell of a lot slower or I would lose myself entirely.-
V
I grinned even bigger when I hear the familiar sound of the car horn going off and I haft to clear my throat from the laugh that wanted to huff out. “Having problems there Cop.” I gave up holding back the rough laugh and let it flow freely. “Guess you’re on the job now, or you like the view from your Vic, who am I to judge” In les than 20 minutes of convo, I had a grin in place and even laughed, damn the human had some ways about him. Clearing my throat again, determined not to sound like some hyped up ass. ”Name the place Butch and I will find you” In that second I had a vision of chasing you through the Brotherhoods underground tunnels, only to come to the very back where I had escaped and in my vision was your ass sprawled out in the rose bushes. “What the fuck” Muttering under my breath more to myself.
Butch
-My forehead hit my palm- No. Just testing the horn is all. -I had to laugh with you at my own stupidity.- Haven’t had to lay on it recently had to make sure it was still in good working order. -Coughing through my own laughter. I had to catch my breath before replying. Being the consummate alcoholic that I was, I automatically prattled off the name of my favorite bar and guessed at a time that I would be there. Allowing plenty of room to go home and actually shave the fur off of my face. God I looked like shit today. I had to blink a few times at the image staring back at me in the rearview mirror. Get a hold of yourself, man. You aren’t some wet behind the ears teenager anymore. But when it came to this shit… I really was. I stupid, awkward and unsure of myself. I didn’t know what do with that. It had been a long time since I gave a shit. I heard your curse that was likely not meant for me but I found myself asking after you before I even thought about it.- Are you alright?
V
The sudden built up tension in body that surfaced when the vision hit, fled when I heard Butch laugh.”Cool deal Butch, I meet up with you then.” pushing the sheet further down my waist, my diamond eyes scanned the tatts that were visible and I glanced away from them in disgust. “Yeah I’m all kinds of good Cop, so you think I kiss good…Hu?” Without looking down I pull the sheet back up, and shove all the added bullshit in my head away for a moment, zoning in completely on Butch.
Butch
-My reply came back instantly in a suddenly sober, flatly serious tone reserved for no bullshit.- I could have stayed there with you like that forever if it didn’t scare the living shit out of me. -I had to stop and think for a minute if I regretted saying that or not. In the end, it didn’t matter. It was the god’s honest truth. I heard the sounds on the other end again and I let slip a groan.- I think you are enjoying making sure that I know that you are in bed right now.
V
That infamous tatted brow of mine cocked up almost to my hair line when I heard the sudden tone you dropped to. That combined with the response that came had me reeling.”Cop, you will be the death of me, I have no fucking doubt about it.” My head dropped back hard against the wall over my head board and I let my mind play back the scene in that kitchen.”Tell me Butch, are you scared of what you don’t know about me or the fact I’m a male?” Squeezing my eyes shut, and fighting the urge to slam my head once again, against the wall, I mentally cursed myself, who the fuck wouldn’t be freaked way the fuck out over both those damn things. “Look, I get it, your not exactly easy play for me either.” Yeah see further proof that shit just spews out my mouth. I just shake my head and huff out a chuckle, fuck it. Then I did wish I was fucking when I heard that groan slip out, just that sound had the leather encasing my hand heating up and my sheet tenting up.”Too bad about fear, we could have a completely different kind of call going on here.” licking my lips, I shifted my position in bed to adjust to my new growing issue.
Butch
-I scratched my finger over my eyebrow and massaged my temple before puffing out a breath.- You might not like the answer to that question, Vishous. -I felt the need to form my next thoughts very carefully because I was stepping into some serious shit here.- Both of the reasons that you laid out there are things that weigh on my mind pretty hardcore but it’s not what really freaks me the fuck out. It’s not what I don’t know about you that has me sticking my foot in a bear trap, it’s what I do know about you. All that shit that hangs out in the back of my brain and tells me that we’ve done all this before. -I took a large chunk out of my bottom lip to keep from blabbing on but my shit was flowing now and I couldn’t stop the next words.- I don’t have to take off your clothes to know every inch of your body already. -clearing my throat- You’ve got more tats than what’s just on your face. -I just let that hang out there. Take it how you would. I looked up in the mirror again to see Jose coming back.- We aren’t having a different type of phone call because you chose to call me while I was at work and I’m not going to get caught ringing my rag by my partner. Look, I gotta go do cop shit. I’ll see you tonight, alright?
V
It felt like you had your hand inside my chest, alternating between squeezing my the breath out of my lungs and the blood pumping through my heart. Each syllable that came out hit hard and had me sinking deeper into the mattress. It was all true and I knew that, cause fuck I had dreamed and had one vision after another slamming through my brain on constant loop. All I could do was nod and speak over the series of knots in my throat.”See you tonight Butch, stay safe till then.” My hand fell to the bed with the cell landing on the bed. For the first time, I wasn’t in something alone, now I had the cop with me and fuck if that didn’t have my chest puffing out and filling up with something that was unfamiliar to me.
Butch
-Normally my work would suffer after a conversation like I had with V, but this time I took that shit and went pro. Everything was efficient as fuck because I wanted to get the hell out of their. I left Jose with his jaw hanging down the ground in confusion. And of course just before I was out of sight he called after me and ventured to ask the impossible. ‘You got a hot date or something?’ I stopped in my tracks and turned around with huge ass grin.- That I do. Tell mom not wait up for me. -Mocking the concern that he and his wife always had for me with a laugh. He shook his head and waved as I ducked into my car. I took my damn sweet time in the shower, letting the hot water work it’s magic on my tensed up muscles. I wrapped a towel around my waist and leaned over the sink and got rid of the full on beard I had apparently been cultivating. There wasn’t much help for the dark circles under the eyes. Only sleep would get rid of that shit. I dug through my dresser and managed to find a pair of jeans that wasn’t totally beat to hell and clean. I pair it up with a button down shirt and head out the door. I was early yet but fuck it. I settled into a booth in the corner where I could see everything, ordered a beer and popped a stick of gum in my mouth. Not nervous at all… nope… not one bit. I forced myself to relax and watch whatever the fuck was one TV, not really taking it in.-
V
After I had sit there in the bed for a good while longer, as always replaying Butch’s words in my head, piecing it with those things that I had been experiencing myself. There was no doubt, something was under foot here, and I mean no fucking body knew about my tats below my waist, not even the ones I fucked. It was easy to keep it that way when you controlled the situation and the person. Seeing and touching me wasn’t part of the game, gags and mask were in use for a reason and hell most times sex wasn’t involved anyway. Then now I have a Detective telling me about my own body, cluster fuck of the century, don’t know why I was so damn surprised, shit always around me seemed to go in some fucked up way. All that drilled in my head through my shower and after it; I stood there before the small mirror over the sink and just stared at myself. “Now you have agreed to meet up, good job V, civilized convo isn’t a strong point.” Muttering a string of curses, I raked my fingers through my wet hair and gave myself a mental shake. Hell yeah I agreed to meet Butch, fuck I had tried to chill on the cop and that didn’t go good at all. Shaking my head at all the talking to myself I was in tonight, I bypassed the leathers for the only pair of black jeans I had and the same routine black T-Shirt, finishing off with my shit kickers and my jacket. This time I hid my daggers in more inconspicuous places, humans seemed to wig out seeing weapons, and without using the mind fuck tricks, I was gonna try that fit in stuff. I was heading to the SUV when I caught myself doing a once over check in the side mirror and I just snorted, yeah I’m way the fuck gone over a human. Shrugging my thick shoulders under my jacket, I got in and wished like fuck I could Demat, I was was as inpatient as whore trying to get out of confession. So I did the next best thing and worked every traffic light to go in my favor and drove like I was in the Indy 500, even curt tailed it into the small parking lot and landing the ass end up perfect with the concrete parking cylinder. Even before stepping out, I done scanned the area and waited a full sixty seconds before taking my hand from out of my jacket and heading inside. Glancing around taking in the scene, I located Butch easily, and I couldn’t help but grin as I walked over.
Butch
-Whatever relaxed attitude I might have managed for myself while trying to chill in the corner flew right the fuck out the window as soon as I spotted ‘sex on legs’ walk through the door. I sat up straighter and found myself doing stupid shit like flattening out my shirt and combing my fingers through my hair. It wasn’t lost on me that every eye in the house turned to look as well. Some quickly looked away but more than few chicks flat out gawked. For no apparent reason I found that it pissed me off and filed each of their faces straight onto my shit list. Of course as soon as I saw that grin spread across your face I could give a good goddamn what the hell was going on around me. I took in the fluid, and obviously dangerous, way in which you moved. And the change of clothing from your customary head to toe leather had me arching my brow. I shifted over in my seat to make room for you where you could see the entire area as well. Nodding my head with a smile.- Good to see you again, Vishous. -And fuck me but I meant it.-
V
Reaching the table seemed to take too damn long, hell I had to squelch the urge to break into a jog and cut the time in half. I didn’t miss the subtle flattening of the shirt or finger combing that went on before I landed at my destination. Good I thought, I was the only walking on pins and needles one here. Sliding into the spot Butch cleared for me. The not so natural grin stayed in place, it was too easy now or at least when Butch was in my vicinity it was. “Back atcha Butch, nice place you picked here.“Taking a slow look around only to come back to Butch “I see you managed to stay in one piece today.” My mouth split even wider as I blatantly lowered my iridescent eyes to take in as much of Butch that I could. I laid one arm half folded out on the table in front of me and let my elbow hang off the back of the booth as my body angled slightly towards Butch.
Butch
You know I have managed to stay alive for some forty years now. -swatting your chest with the back of my hand and laughing- Or is that what has you worried? Going to cart me off to a nursing home now? -Mocking a wounded expression and clapping my other hand over my heart.- Better watch out, my have a stroke on you or something. -Laughing loudly taking a swig of my beer.- What’s been keeping you busy lately?
V
Huffing out a laugh at that shit, I picked up Butch’s wrist, holding it between two fingers. “You are looking a little thinly, might be time to put up the Glocks and take up the bed pan.” Shaking your thick as fuck wrist in front of your face before letting go. I turn some and wave a waitress over. “Can’t talk with a dry throat, shits just wrong.” Winks at Butch before ordering up a bucket of beers from the female. I didn’t miss the hesitance in her moves at the table and as soon as she walked away, I pulled out the Sox cap from the inside pocket of my jacket and pulled it down low and turned back to Butch. “Just like you Cop, work, busy with same shit, different day. Hows it been hitting for you this week, anything good?”
Butch
-When you let go of my wrist I drop my arm behind you on booth, stretching my legs out under the table. I glanced back and forth between you and the waitress and narrowed my eyes when you put the cap on. Not that I had anything against the choice. I opened my mouth before I could think better of it.- You hide from everyone don’t you? -I totally disregarded everything else you asked and turned toward you to look under the rim of your hat.- I happen to like your tattoos. They are a part of you.
V
Cocking my head to the side some, my fingers itch to pull the end down more instead I trade off for a shrug “Look its part of what I do, public’s not at the top of my list” both brows dropped down over low over my eyes and damn me but my voice took on a sub zero flow. “They’re more apart of me then you know, nothing to like about them Cop.” Turning around, I plant my back to the seat and barely nod when the female finally brings the bucket back and sits it down.
Butch
-I chewed the shit out of the inside of my cheek as your entire demeanor changed. I had the distinct feeling that I had just stuck my foot entirely in my mouth. My arm came off of the back of the booth and I picked at the label of my beer.- Alright. I can take a hint. Don’t talk about that shit. -huffing out a sigh- So… work… Yeah, I hit a guy until he told me what I wanted to hear and I actually caught a few bad guys. Loads of fun.
V
Pulling a beer from the metal bucket, I looked over at Butch and felt like a steaming pile of shit. Twisting the cap off, I hit my knee up against Butch’s knee.”That hiding away thing, you was on cue with it, which means I suck at this shit.” Tilts the bottle up draining some down before rolling the frosted bottle between my hands and stopping when I hear the days descript from Butch “Sounds like fun there man.“Barking out a chuckle, picturing that easily.”I’ve been on the other end of them damn hands, no doubt you served out some good shit” I lowered my gaze and watched intently for a moment while those very hands of his pealed at the label.
Butch
-I rolled the bottle in my hands some before downing the rest of it and picking out a new one. I kept my knee where it had landed against yours. Almost testing out how it felt to be sitting so close to another guy and not giving a shit.- Would it surprise you to hear that I tried to find out shit about you? -Opening the drink and glancing at you from the corner of my eye.- Fat lotta good it did me. -Completely failing to mention the one possible lead that I had found. The source was shady at best and I wasn’t holding out much hope that I would hear from them.-
V
The grin that was on my face when I first spotted Butch came back when I felt the steady pressure of your knee against me. Had to hand it to Butch he had balls. Nodding as I swig another mouthful.”No, not surprised, your not one for loose ends and unanswered questions.“Dunking my head some taking another long drink, this time letting it go down slow.”Besides I’ve done checked you out, so only fair” Reclining back more against the seat, I turn back to my previous half twisted state to you.”Now tell me, why the public place? Scared the guy in leather will rob your place or some shit”
Butch
-Propping an elbow up on the table and resting my head on it, looking over at you with a grin.- You dig up all the files on what a bastard I am? I’ve almost been kicked off the force more times than I can count. -I pursed my lips in a tight smile at your question.- Rob me? No. -Shaking my head with a laugh.- If you wanted to take anything I owned, you could have it. Not like I got the Arc of the Covenant hanging out in my closet. -I rolled my bottom lip into my mouth to wet it and simply let my eyes roam over you.- Maybe I needed a good reason to not leap into the lion’s den. My brain likes to fight with me about these things.
V
Chuckling, I shake my head and sit the bottle on the table.”Just the basics, nothing that tells me what the man behind the badge really is.” My arm takes up place on the back of the booth where yours once was.”I don’t know Butch, I was eying the twin to my cap.” Raises my leather clad hand and taps the end of mine, a wicked grin spreads over my face.”I was mighty tempted to shove that fucker down my leathers and make my way out the door with it.” The grin almost slipped when I couldn’t take my gaze away when Butch pulled that same bottom lips that days ago I had sucked on, into your own mouth. My voice drops down all kinds of octaves.”Smart choice Hellren, if we was alone, I would show you my lions bite, and mark you up for all to see.”
Butch
-My eyes narrowed some- Stealing a guys hat is a serious offense. I would have to take you in. Or at the very least handcuff ya. -My face lit up mischievously at the mere thought. I twisted some when your voice dropped lower. Spreading apart my legs to allow room for a certain situation that I refused to reach down adjust at the moment. My head tilted some more at the familiar yet unfamiliar word. Almost not catching it at all for what came afterward.- Hellren? That’s another one of those that I should know what it means but I can’t quite remember.
V
My own words came back to slap me dead in the face and for the first time in my 300 yrs, I sat there with my jaw dropped open at the slip of such a word. Somehow I manage to drag my mouth from the table and even croaked out some words. “Let’s save that for another time Butch.” Draining the rest of my beer, I quickly replaced it with a new one from the bucket, I could still hear the word ‘Hellren’ resounding through my head but as soon as I look up at you and diamond eyes locked onto deep inviting hazel ones, it clicked like a light switch being flicked on, and I had to grind my teeth together before I ended up grounding out MINE.
Butch
-I watched the change rock through you and took heart in the fact that I wasn’t the only one that our strange connection was confusing the shit out of. If I were the type to believe in past lives I might say that we had shared one together but to me it seemed like something much more recent.- I like the word. It seems… right. -I twisted so that my back was completely to the rest of the room, leaned forward until my lips brushed over your ear and whispered in low voice meant only for you.-It is every bit as right as me saying that you are my nallum. Some things you just take on faith. -I straightened back up slowly. Flashing a wink and a smile before glancing up at whatever the fuck was on the television and tipping back my beer. I knew that I shouldn’t let instinct guide my every move but when I was near you, I couldn’t help myself.-
V
My cursed hand damn near sent up smoke signals when I felt the heated breath brush over my ear, then add the words and I had to shove my hand under the table because I knew it would be lighting up like a glow warm. “Good thing for you we are in in public.” A low almost unguarded guttural growl rolls out and I lay that very hand on the side of your leg, I was fighting an inner battle to control the power surging through me. I’ve always had control of this and now all it took was a little ear blowing and a word to knock my control out from under my feet. I drew my eyes from your side profile and scanned the room again, not for any other purpose then to reign shit back in.
Butch
-I turned my head back to you with a slow smirk.- I told you that I had a reason for coming here. -I slid my ass back in booth and rested my back on your arm draped there. I let my hand drop down to your leg and squeezed it tightly. I may be uncomfortable with the full treatment but small things like this I could do. I realized that it probably wasn’t a nice game that I was playing but it was a speed that didn’t make me feel like I was completely drowning. And it felt good to just relax next to you.- This is nice. -Tipping my head back.- I never get this.
V
Cocking a tatted brow when I see that famous smirk of Butch “Question, is it me or you that you don’t trust in private?” My brow relaxed back down and the lines in my forehead smooth out easily at the simple pressure of Butch leaning back against my arm and I even took it a step forward and covered your hand that was now squeezing my leg with my own. My own back settled back against the cheep pleather covered booth and that grin slid back in place just seeing the chilled ease of Butch “I can hang with this, Cop”
Butch
-I rolled my head over your arm to look at you. I didn’t actually give three fucks if anyone else in the room was looking our direction, even though I did frequent this bar often enough to know the names of most of the people that worked here.-Without a doubt, I don’t trust myself. Because I know that I would give you anything. -Lifting my head back up and stretching forward to reach my beer before settling back against your side.- The Catholic boy in me isn’t exactly hip to that. And the cop in me hasn’t filled in all of the blanks yet. -I closed my eyes and just enjoyed the warmth of your body before taking another drink. Adding in softer tone.-You have some other part of me that I haven’t seen before.
V
When your head rolled back on my arm and I made contact with them eyes that I sure as fuck couldn’t get enough of, I was beyond the level of floored once again at how at ease Butch was with being this close to a male. Lowering my head some, reaching low enough to reach just the side of Butch’s ear, the end of my nose slightly rubbing along the edge a bit before I open my mouth to speak.”Don’t trust me either Butch, my control around you sucks at best” Chuckling a bit near that ear before raising back up and grabbing my own beer off the table. “I’m with you on that, not sure how I am but I am, you have a part of me that fuck I swore didn’t exist in a male like me or for one like me.” My fingers that laid over your hand, slid into the grooves of yours and yet again I marveled at yet another damn first for me.
Butch
-The shiver from your nose brushing along my ear shot straight down my spine. And I flat out squirmed when you started talking. My hand on your leg dug in deep to hold myself in place. I sagged back when you finally moved and it almost felt like I was trying to disappear between you and the cushion. It felt stupid and I had to duck my head and turn away from you to hide the heat boiling up and into my face. I noticed a small group of guys watching us from over by the pool table with their jaws hanging on the floor. I narrowed my eyes and scratched my cheek with my middle finger. I sat back up and downed the remainder of the beer in my hand, keeping an eye on the fuckwads from my peripheral.- What’s a matter? Slept too many nights with a dagger and not a body?
V
Cocking my head back, bringing the neck of the bottle up with me, I chuckle as I take a drink.”You’re an open book Cop, I feel like each page I turn, I get even more lost in the chapters and damn it’s killing me not to skip to the end and see how you will play out” The grin on my face dropped when I noticed the direction of your gaze.”You know we can take them if your game” Shrugging my thick shoulders.”I haven’t had a good fight in a few days and no weapons since their no threat” I barked out a laugh and just shook my head, but before I did I made eye contact with each one standing there.”Good come back Butch, real subtle.” Sliding my beer across the table, pulling the last one from the bucket. “Tell me, why here when this is obviously a place you frequent, give over on that one?” Now it was my turn to peal at the label, even my gaze dropped.”Bodies don’t sleep in my bed, never have. So yeah, you’d find my dagger in my bed before you would anything else.” Yeah I thought, I just screamed fuck full of issues, Soon I would see Butch edging away, putting that distance there, I started ticking off the seconds in my head, it was inevitable.
Butch
-I shifted once more so that I could look at you while we talked, a smile sliding over my face at the thought of punching the assholes.- Actually those guys know I’m a cop and wouldn’t raise a finger. Hell it would probably just get me up shit creek without a paddle. Fuck ‘em anyway, buncha assholes. -Shrugging my shoulders with a slow roll.- Guess I figured if I could come up in here relax next to you then it meant something. -I watched your face fall once more and it felt like a roller coaster ride. Like certain subjects where off limits and I seemed to be hitting them all. I lifted your head back up with a hooked finger under your chin and looked into those eyes that I fucking loved.- I don’t bring ‘em home either. Aside from Jose, you are the only one that has ever been in my place and he only stands at the door waiting for me to get my ass in gear.
V
I knew I had to have some sort of shocked as shit look in my clear as light eyes when my head came back up to meet your straight on look, at the urging of your fingers under my chin. ”This new touching thing with you is becoming addictive; I might need to find some 12 step program to help me out.” The chuckle that came out as half laugh at the without a paddle statement felt good, better than I wanted to admit. ”Yeah I did see clearly in the files I dug up, you end up in that fuckedup boat a lot, always going against the Boss. Only proves to show you don’t take shit too much no matter how high up the chain it’s coming from.” Grins throwing a wink back atcha, my fingers walk their way across the expanse of the back your shoulders until I reach right dead center of your nape and slowly the tips of my fingers press in deeply and massage the heated flesh. No sooner had I started than the same fingers stilled and my voice lowers almost to a gravelly whisper. “I don’t share what’s mine, just so you know Butch” Every ancient animalistic natural urge in me decided to kick in at just the image of another anyone in that apartment or any fucking where with you.
Butch
-My fingers moved to mold around your neck, using my thumb to follow your jawline.- No one else touches you. -It was meant as a question but as soon as I said it, I know that it was the truth. The knowledge warmed me in a way that I couldn’t describe. My eyes dropped from yours to those lips that had thrown me completely over the edge of reason. It seemed that the more time I spent in your company the closer I came to a nuclear explosion. I could almost hear the count down in my head. It should have been a new experience but it felt like an old one, like I was slipping backward into something I was completely familiar with. The touch of your fingers at the back of my neck caused the breath to leave me in one slow exhale and I dropped my head to rest in the crook of your neck. I hadn’t even noticed that our other hands were clasped together until now and I squeezed your fingers slightly. My head came back up when you suddenly froze and I had to blink a couple of times. The statement hit me differently than I expected. But instead of saying ‘no shit, Sherlock’ like I was thinking, I went with something more sane.- Is that what I am? Yours?
V
My head almost cocked back and fell against the top of the booth in pure fucking pleasure when your own head found its place down against my shoulder and neck. All that hammered in was this, right here, and now, the noise was gone the humans didn’t exist around us and I could have kicked the snot out of myself when my words had you jerking up away from me. It would have been simple to just play that shit off as nothing but it wasn’t in me to do it now, not with you.“No one touches me, anywhere part of my hard wiring you could say” My shoulders shrug with that no big fucking deal motion but my hands squeezes yours back with an iron tight hold onto yours, that contact I wasn’t ready to lose yet. Still yet your matter of fact next statement had me dipping my head down some so my fangs didn’t show when I grinned like a fool. “You know, most peeps would have high tailed it away from me, not you Butch, you come right at me, digging, searching, prying for more” That not so lighthearted chuckle works its way out of me and I bring my face back up even with yours. ”But to answer you, You’re a lot more than that, but the head case that rams through me each and every mother fucking time I am in distance of you, and fuck since I’m going for all out bitch hood here, even when you’re not around, flashing like a cheap neon sign that you sure as fuck are mine. You ready to run yet Cop?” Even under the Sox baseball hat that set low over my eyes, it’s clear how high my brow was arched as I ended that whole spill.
Butch
-I couldn’t hide the slow smile that crept onto my face but I did manage to hold back the laugh by laying my head against you again. To your credit, you had given me my out if I chose to take it.- Maybe being with you appeals to my self-destructive desire to throw shit all to hell and enjoy the ride. -I thought about the phone call that I might be getting at any minute from the mysterious group that knew something about this man that I was currently clinging to. I chewed the inside of my cheek for a minute before continuing.- And what would you do if I ran from you now? -Somehow I knew that there really wasn’t going to be a way to shake you if I suddenly decided to change my mind at this point. I considered ignoring what ever some junky’s hook-up had to say. I should just tell them to go to hell but I wasn’t one to blindly accept one side of the story. No matter how much my mind screamed for me to let go.-
V
Letting go, walking away wasn’t an option, even if I had to stay by the sidelines, it was branded on the very bones that melded my body together. I cocked my head and looked down to you at an angle, my face bearing all semblance of the severity of my words. “Just as I know your mine, I also know that you already have your answer to that question” Pulling my gaze from you, all I could do was shake my head at all of this, since when did I go all Oprah and just start letting my insides hang out. Yeah I was in some fucked up terrain here but each word I spoke was straight to the core truth, even if I didn’t have jack shit proof to back it up. Somewhere, somehow, something had gone down, now I just had to figure this out, fucking Google wouldn’t help with this puzzle of the century.
Butch
-I rested my free hand on your chest and just paused there to feel your heart pumping strongly beneath my palm. It felt like my eyes rolled around in skull as I realized that you would in fact probably chase me. I pushed against your chest to sit up once more, leaning on the table to collect my thoughts. I didn’t dare let go of your hand, in fact I ran my thumb over the leather of your glove. I knew there was a reason for that glove but I didn’t push for an explanation. To buy myself some more time, I called the waitress over and ordered Lag and Goose. Waiting until I had the drink in front me before finally speaking again.- While I was asking around about you I did find one guy that thought he be able to help me. -I swallowed a healthy dose of the drink and glanced back at you.- He said he knew some guys that had warned him about scarey looking dudes like you. And he even went so far as to say he would see if his boss wanted to talk to me.
V
I eased up some towards the table when the drink arrived and had it mid-way to my waiting mouth when your words hit me like a raging bull. Only one kind of group would know of me or any like me and the fact that you were digging and coming close to that had me ready to disintegrate the building around us. My hand jerked back, releasing yours, and I shoved my arm further under the table a second just to keep the violent shaking from being so noticeable. “I need air and you’re coming with” I slammed the glass down on the scarred table and was already up and out of the booth before the clear liquid and now broken shards started to drift over the edge. I didn’t turn to look at you, or even wait I had my hand on the knob of the Bar’s door without even realizing I took a single step and was outside. Darkness and solitude was the only way I could cover up what was driving through me right now, too many prying eyes, to close proximity. Just the fucking mere thought of them pale bastards around you was enough to send my head right off the edge and bring on my own style of apocalypse.
Butch
-I couldn’t stop from flat out gawking at you as what I said completely changed you. I instantly wanted to take back my words and go back to where we were before but I couldn’t. I forced myself to watch it all, to see the tension that always hid beneath the surface boil over. I would have put an iceberg to shame with how cold I suddenly felt. The reaction proved that there was truth to the allegations. You made your demand and stood up without another word and I considered staying put and telling you to go fuck yourself. I considered it long enough to take my time and slowly finish my drink. I slid out of the booth and threw down enough money to cover the tab. One of the assholes in the corner chose that moment to spew off a wise crack about a lovers spat. I calmly walked straight up to him and decked him one right in the face. He fell to the floor like a sack of potatoes and I just kept on walking out the door. I was still massaging my knuckles when I came to stand next to you. I didn’t even bother asking what the fuck, I just stood there and waited for some sort of an explanation.-
V
The night air did nothing to cool down the erupting volcano that seems to have taken up residence in the pit of my stomach. At least the added minutes alone helped me to clamp down on my own personal light show and threatening fangs that were begging to punch through. I heard the noises of the bar clearly when the door opened and I turned to look at you. “If I stay away will you stop probing?” The question felt like acid in my mouth, and it only fueled the fire, there wasn’t enough Goose in the world that was going to take this away. This was a turning point I hadn’t seen coming, no way could I stand guard 24/7, daylight had me locked down and them bastards could roam at all times. I didn’t take a step or fuck I didn’t even move a toe in my shit kickers, all that protective male vamp genetics was riding high as a mother fucker right now. Only thing registered in my brain was simple facts, keeping my male safe and breathing, all else be fucked or I would annihilate the threats some way. I didn’t lose the irony of the fact that just minutes ago I had prospects of something to look forward to and now I was staring back into blackness of my whole existence. “I go away; you go back to your shit, no cross overs, no more detective mode on this, you feel me Butch?”
Butch
-I stood there with my arms folded over my chest.- Yeah. I feel you, Vishous. You would rather walk away from whatever the fuck we have than actually tell me what the hell is going on. -I held up a hand to keep anymore bullshit from flowing.- The fact that I deluded myself into thinking this shit might actually work is down right laughable. -I turned on my heel and walked toward my car. I would be dipped in shit if I was going let you see how much your words hurt. I wasn’t the sort that ever let anyone get to me. Yeah. This would suck. Better now then later I guess.- Have a good life… nallum. -I couldn’t bring myself to look back, I just waved a hand over my shoulder and continued walking.-
V
Standing there watching the one thing I ever wanted in my shit of a cluster fuck life walk away, was the hardest thing I did, but I did keep my boots rooted in that spot. Not a word came out, no gesture back, nothing and I still stood there even after the tail lights of your car were far from sight. Still then it took every ounce of control not to high tail it to your rundown apartment building and my thoughts jammed up right there. Do what, say yeah ok Butch, well it’s like this, I’m a vampire, you know the night creatures and shit and yeah the SOB’s you’re wanting to meet up with are creatures that the race race has been fighting since the dawn of time, no this way Butch will be safe. That is one convo that would send anyone to the hills in hiding even a weathered cop. Fuck this was pain that was foreign to me, I felt like someone was doing an autopsy on my insides while I stand there fully breathing and feeling. Pulling the cap off I dragged my hand roughly through my hair and made my way to the SUV, somehow in a cloud of haze I even ended up back at the warehouse. Slamming the door with enough force to rattle the windows,I tossed the keys on the desk and stripped out of my gear and replaced the jeans with some basketball shorts and for next few hours I beat the fuck out of the punching bag and did enough sets on the weights to have my arms hanging at my sides feeling like jello.
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