Empty

Butch

-I almost mechanically got out of the bed that I had been laying in. I knew that he had returned before the shutters had closed down and it actually kind of surprised me. The way that he had left with no word on where he was going I had assumed that he would stay out. It didn’t matter really. It wouldn’t have changed what I chose to do even if I had known that he would return. Somehow my feet carried me toward the Pit. One foot in front of the other and I just kept walking until I was standing at the door. If I had been paying attention I might have realized that he wasn’t here either. Everything that I did seemed so… final. The door swung open to a scene that exactly portrayed my heart right now. I took two steps through the wreckage and fell to my knees on the ground. Not a sound came out of me, I was too stunned by the destruction, but tears rolled down my face. I stayed there for longer than I meant to trying to see the path back to happiness. It wasn’t there. There were no rainbows and unicorns in this love story, only pain on top of more pain. And to think, just 24 hours ago I had been the happiest fucker alive. I stood up from the floor and turned my tear streaked face to where I knew there was a camera. If this was what he wanted, he got it. My expression was flat and as dead inside as I felt. I had some things to do before I left this warzone. I cleared my throat and wiped my face clean before I set about the task of cleaning the place up. I hauled every piece of broken furniture to the garbage, including the very bed that we had slept on. Cleaned out pieces of broken wall, glass and whatever else. It took me a long time but it wasn’t like I had anything better to do right now, I wasn’t sleeping that was for sure. When I had all the debris was cleared I even took time to sweep and vacuum up the last of it. I now stood in the center of a hollow space and it was like it had been scraped clean of all feeling. I walked over to V’s computers and pulled up a simple notepad. I sat down and just began typing. It could very well be the last thing that I ever said to my heart and I needed to get it out.- You walked out that door when you knew that I was too weak to stop you. You left me no room to say ‘you’re right’ or ‘I’m sorry’. Instead you left me with ‘I have to get out of here before I end up beating the fuck out of you.’ Wouldn’t both our dad’s be proud of you for that… You told me once that if I needed space from you all I had to do was ask you to stay in the manse. You were clearly were either lying or that just didn’t apply to me as well. Whatever the case may be, you made damn well sure that I wasn’t welcome back. -I paused to wipe another tear from my face. The screen was becoming blurry but I wasn’t done yet. I shifted over to the other screen on his computers and drew up an order for every piece of furniture that had been destroyed, throwing in my best guess on the building materials that it would take to repair the damage. The furniture part was easy but the walls that had been ruined were not something that I could repair, I didn’t have that expertise. I left the order sitting there on the screen unfinished, unpaid but ready to go at the simple push of a button. That was not my decision to make, it was his. I returned to the notepad and left all that I was going to say at this point.- If you want to find me, I left my heart and soul with you already. -I saved the file, unnamed, and left it on the screen. My eyes closed tightly for a brief moment before I stood up from the chair and left the Pit.-

Vishous

I worked clear through the day; hours and minutes ceased to matter and so did sleep. I worked continuously on blade after blade. It might be helpful if I didn’t shatter each one before they were ready to form. There wasn’t a single spot on my body that wasn’t drenched in sweat or a part of my upper body that wasn’t aching from the ongoing pounding and beating away on the metal. The options before me were bleak, I tried to reason with myself at times, thinking and replaying it over just so I could re-examine it from all angles. I could see why he was pissed, could understand the reasoning behind such a reaction as losing it on me if he had. Still nothing could bring my mind around to the fact of it being ok for Butch to leave, absolutely nothing. Arguing was just that, arguing, hell, hit me, cuss me out, hurl words at me but don’t move out. I had knowledge in so many fucking areas but this; I was a fish out of water. I could cover your back, take out a threat, and go toe to toe with the big bad and ugly, what I couldn’t do is deal with my bonded walking out on me. He’d become my weakness from the get go, and when Butch left me the last time, I sunk down to depths that were pure insanity, he witnessed those lows, so this would not be a shocker. Only this time was different, this time coldness closed in around me, shrouded me in a darkness that was even new to me. How many times did I need to be left before I got the point? I’d walked through hell and back to prove myself, taken beatings, killed masses and went up against the unthinkable odds and this only verified how fucking stupid I’d been to think that anyone would stick it out with me. Each time I tried to see past this day all I could see was a brick wall blocking my path. The idea of day after day of climbing into a bed that was empty, living in a space that was no longer occupied with him, his presence, his scent….his touch, it was certain madness. My gaze flickered to the fire burning brightly, he flames danced before me and before I thought better of it I pulled my phone out and sent Wrath a voice mail. “Outta here for a while, set one of the Brothers on security detail, I’ll be pulling nightly patrols and you know how to reach me if needed.” I shut down the temp on the beast in front of me and grabbed up my jacket along with my daggers. I left the same way I had the previous nights, down through the tunnels and once outside I dematted to the balcony of my penthouse. As soon as my booted feet touched down on solid ground the double doors opened and when I stepped in the candles flared to life.” Home fucking sweet home.” Smirking with a cruelness still curling my lip up, I stripped as I walked to the bathroom, shower first then plotting out the nights fight plan on the streets, down to basics, down to the one thing I could depend on to always be there.

Butch

-I went back to the room that I would probably be occupying from now into the foreseeable future. It was just a room. It wasn’t my room. Four walls to surround myself in when the sun came up. I knew the moment he left the mansion. I could feel it in my blood. I could have almost tracked his course, I knew exactly where he was going, it was where he usually went when it all came crashing down. Just like I knew that he was in his forge before. He hadn’t even gone back to the Pit. I shouldn’t be surprised by that. The state that he left it in… I didn’t want to go back there either. I walked straight into the room and went to the small bag of things that I had. Tonight, I was up for patrol with V in fact. That last part wasn’t happening but whatever… I pulled my leathers and weapons out of the bag, gearing up for the night. I considered just going out by myself but I wouldn’t want to break any protocol now would I? No, that was ‘crash the whole house down’ bad. I grabbed JM, least he wouldn’t want to talk to me. When we got to the garage I stood next to the Escalade for a long while. I could almost see him sitting in the SUV waiting to hit the streets and telling me to hurry the fuck up. My nostrils flared and swallowed about three lumps that formed in my throat. I was rooted in place in front of the vehicle. Of course he didn’t take it. He didn’t need it. I was the inferior one that ruined everything. John must have been having a hard time getting my attention because he stopped waving his hand at me and just started shaking me instead. The concern was written clearly across his face, I didn’t have to read his rapidly moving hands to know that he was worried. I blinked a few times and stared at the recruit with a blank expression.- It’s fine. We just need to find a new ride is all. -I knew for a fact that the enclosed space of the Escalade smelled richly of Vishous and I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t share the ride into town with the ghost of my love. I walked over to the wall that held keys of cars that could be used and picked a set randomly. I punched the alarm button to find the car and got in without even taking note of what it was. The only important part to me right now is what it wasn’t. I smashed my fist on the power button of the music when it turned on automatically. I was in no mood for music. Only quiet. JM got into the car somewhat hesitantly and I shot out of there like a bullet. One thing about whatever car this was, it was fast and handled much better than Escalade. John Matthew was hanging on to everything in sight to keep from flying around the car as I took the corners at mach ten. I avoided all of the cops normal traps and slid the car into a space downtown that I picked completely randomly. My companion jumped out of the car as soon as it came to a stop almost like he had a spring under his ass. If he could talk I’m sure he would be cursing me out right now. Oh yup, look at that, he was. His hands moved so quickly that I even missed a few that no doubt were pretty rich. I ignored it and took off down the sidewalk. He could follow me or not, I’d done my job by bringing him in the first place. We walked the streets for hours before we finally found some lesser. We followed their stink into an abandon warehouse. John fired off a few sweet shots while I just ran headlong into the fray. I didn’t even waste my time exchanging punches or even witty comebacks. The first guy threw a fist at me and I just turned with it, taking the momentum out of the swing, and bringing up my dagger at the same time. One solid hit to the heart and he was gone before he even started fighting. I was completely emotionless as I turned on the other two that JM had shot. A dagger in each hand and they were finished in one swift movement. I wiped my blade off on my pants and came back to JM who had found another guy coming in the door after the three, now dead, lesser. He finished the albino off and was trying to say something to me as I walked by him but I wasn’t paying attention. He grabbed me by the arm and spun me around so that I could see what he was saying. ‘What’s up your ass?’ I looked up at him and spoke evenly.- Nothing. Nothing is up my ass. -I turned back around and took a different path back to the car in case we might turn up more lesser along the way. We didn’t. It was fine either way with me. I didn’t care anymore.-

Vishous

I shouldn’t have been surprised, really I fucking shouldn’t have but when the light flooded my darkness I covered my eyes instinctively even as my body tensed to fight. I had done the shower thing and dressed in clothes that I had kept at the Penthouse, always my same gear. Now here I was on the streets, stalking them relentlessly. I’d ran into a couple small groups of newly made Lesser, it was almost sad how easy it was to take them out..almost. Fuck, I had one who grabbed a hold of my leg and tried biting me; come on what the fuck is that shit and another that thought it was cool to bring a twig to a knife fight. Who the hell was training these idiots, Mr. Rogers? Right now I just wanted some good bloody down and dirty fighting, instead I get the Scribe Virgin showing up in a back alley way. My head raised a notch and I stared straight on, but as always I couldn’t see not lick of her features, that hood hanging in all the right places made sure of that. I didn’t see her move but before I could blink she was right there in front of me. Yeah I thought, this is exactly what I needed tonight. Groaning, I waited and thankfully I didn’t have to wait long. (The Brotherhood just got back together and here you are out from under them. This is not good for them or for you Vishous, you land a target on your back.) The snort that came out was instant, target, wasn’t that what we always were. I kept that shit to myself but it did me little good. (I left you alone, I stayed away purposely because of you, then all the sudden I felt a shift in the delicate fabric of life, your life Vishous. Hate me I know you do but you are a necessary part of not only this war but the survival of this race.) I shoved my dagger in its holster and just let out one tired as all get out ragged breath. “I’m really not in the mood for this tonight, not now.” She didn’t move, but even as I did she was right there with me. (Tonight it is Vishous son of Bloodletter, time doesn’t wait for you or no one, least of all I don’t.) I didn’t get a chance to utter another word before one hooded hand came up to lie almost absently on my shoulder. One second I was standing in a dingy alley, the next I was on the other side. The whiteness was always overbearing and I wanted to claw my eyes out. My face broke out in a full on scowl but I knew it was pointless to blow out a bunch of steam. “Now what’s the point of this, am I getting yanked back somewhere or maybe this time I get to slaughter more for the sake of the Bloodletter.” I could hear the birds, most would say it was musical to the ears, right now it sounded like a nails on a chalkboard to mine. (I offer this to you one time Vishous, one time I will give this to you. You have come to the point that it all fell a part, all that you thought was, is not, all that you believed to be, no longer is. I can take it from you, obliterate every second of it.) It hit me then, this wasn’t about some warped time shit, or punishment. She knew, like she always knew what had and was going on. Even before I spoke I was shaking my head. “No, I don’t want anything from you, especially that, you can’t take him from me, as much as I know that would please you and right now probably him also, no, in no uncertain terms, leave me as I am.” I really was tired, my tone of deliverance was tired and I was so fucking done with thinking. Right now I knew I could pass the hell out even before my eyes closed, I guess this is what it was like when you gave up the fight, when you just didn’t have the energy to battle anymore, at least not at that moment. I took a step closer to her, my arms hung loose at my sides. “You’ll never get this and there isn’t a language in existence that I could speak to translate it any differently than I am now. What I might have believed was, is no longer but in no way will I give up what I hold in my memories and within myself. Now I will live solely as the Warrior I was and I will die the same way. I am and will be no more or less than that.” I waited for the repercussions of my little speech, waited to be taken down a peg or a shit load of them,instead the floor spun under my feet, the whiteness dissipated and before I could suck in another breath I was standing on the balcony of my penthouse, not the alley but where I had started out the night. My head fell back between my shoulder blades and I let out that breath I had wanted to suck in. Screw this night, I thought. The doors opened up and I walked on through them, I only took my jacket off and dropped it in a chair before I landed face down in the bed.