Self Destruct

Butch

-I remained curled up on the floor for the whole day but I sure as fuck didn’t sleep. I wasn’t going to turn myself over to those nightmares again. Especially not when they were the very root of the reason that I was racked with doubt and despair. I got up from my crumpled up position well before the shutters were raised and made my way to the bathroom. Every muscle was cramped and it was amazing that I even made it off of the floor without falling flat on my damn face. I stopped at the entrance to the bathroom and reached back to pull the hunk of plastic from my ass. I looked at it for a minute and tossed it across the room. I reached in to turn the hot water of the shower on and turned to look at myself in the mirror. I was a mess. My eyes were puffy, red rimmed and even blood shot. Yeah and I had a headache too. Fucking whatever… I turned my back on the image in disgust and stepped into the warm spray of the shower. The only thing it managed to do was loosen up the tense muscles. It had absolutely no effect on the hole in the center of my chest or the ‘I told you so’s’ that ran rampant through my head. No matter what I did I couldn’t shake the fact that V had pulled away from me. It was something that I never in a million years would have thought would happen. I shoved the thought aside so that I wouldn’t be left weeping like some kind of female again. I got out of the shower and went straight for the closet. I bypassed all of my suits and went straight for the leathers. I geared up for my own personal war and I didn’t even know if I was on rotation tonight or not, or if I was who I was supposed to be paired up with. One of the good things about being a vampire was that there was no shortage of bodies when you absolutely positively had to kill someone. I was going on a fuck load of exhaustion, both mental and physical, but there was very little that was going to keep me from getting the hell out of the Pit tonight. I knew that I’d fucked up somewhere along the way but I couldn’t help but thinking that it was from me agreeing to shit in the first place. I’d been so desperate to have a solution to my problem and it had only made things worse. I beat feet out of the only place that had ever called home before the sun was even down and sat behind the wheel of the Escalade waiting for everything to open up. I rolled down the window and lit up a cigarette. I could sleep for a week straight if only it weren’t for the nightmares, I was that tired. I’d snagged a few energy drinks from the fridge and was down two before I figured I should slow it down a bit. Vishous thought that he had seen bad when he witnessed my dream state the day before but that was only the warm up. The real fear was what happened after some asshole had injected my heart with pure Omega essence. It had been a year ago now that I’d tried to take Vishous to go see my mother, come out of the closet as it were. V had done everything he could to cleanse me of the filth, even stuck a tube in me with a straight infusion of his own blood, but nothing could turn back the change. I remembered looking down on V’s passed out form and pulling him into my arms. I’d bonded to him right then and there but it didn’t mean that I could stay by his side with the black oil creeping through my whole system. The Omega was coming for me and I could feel it so I’d left Vishous there. I’d left him barely alive on a bathroom floor to keep the Omega from getting to him. At the time it had seemed like the only option and it probably had but what I turned myself over to… I would never be the same. I became what we hunted down ever night. And not only that, I’d murdered my way to the top of the ladder in the space of twenty four hours. But what most people didn’t know is what that fucking bastard Omega did to all of his new recruits. The depths of humiliation that he dragged me through so that I know for a fact that I was his. And there wasn’t a damn thing that could be done about it. My body refused to obey even the simplest of commands and all I could do is bare it all in absolute horror. I squeezed my eyes closed to block out the images but I could still hear my own screams. I flicked the butt of my cigarette out the window of the SUV and started the vehicle up. My hands white knuckled the wheel as I heard the shutters go up around the mansion. My foot slammed down on the gas and I speed out of there like a bullet from a gun. At this point I didn’t even care if I got pulled over for speeding. I was aimed directly for prime hunting grounds and I was determined to get there as fast as possible. I parked the Escalade in the shittiest neighborhood and almost dared some punk to try to steal it. With a push of the button the alarm was triggered and I was off and racing through the streets. Running wasn’t exactly the best way to find your prey but I had a built in tracker that told me when I was near to my goal. I followed my instinct and was soon pulled in a direction that I knew for a fact would take me to something that I could kill. My brain shut down completely and I let my pain fuel me. I barreled around a corner and found myself face to face with a group of lesser. I didn’t even pull my gun out, I ran headlong into the fray knowing full well that four on one were not good odds. The only thing that I had going for me was the fact that I’d taken them completely by surprise. I had the first one on the ground and was busy turning his face into hamburger with my fists when the other three finally came to their senses and pulled me off of him. That wasn’t the sitch I wanted to find myself in but I could work with it. I resisted up until the point where they had me standing again and then I went limp. Dropping my body down, I pulled the guy at my back completely over my shoulders, flipping him on to the pavement. I didn’t give the two lesser to either side of me time to think too hard on what they should do next as I brought my shitkicker down on the throat of the fucker I’d just shocked the shit out of. He wouldn’t be bothering me for awhile. I twisted my head from side to side giving each of the other lesser a wicked as hell grin.- Who’s next? -Course that pissed em off but that was just where I wanted them. They didn’t work too well as a team. The guy on my right pulled on my arm and the other guy tried to take a swing at me. Tough call there… think I’ll go with the guy on the right. I threw my entire weight into him and he ended up stumbling backward into the wall. I gave him a good elbow to the stomach to remember me by and spun around to face the other one who was now falling forward due to a miscalculation on his part. He must have expected me to wait for his fist to meet with my face. How silly of me. I had my own fist ready for him all nice and special. An uppercut just under the jaw is liable to change anyone’s mind. I felt a sharp sting slice across my side and turned around to see the guy at my back had gotten wise and pulled out a knife. Okay, two could play at that game. My daggers came to my hands automatically.- I’ve got more if you want to see ‘em. They are pretty. -I lunged forward and just let him bury his blade into me. Sure it hurt like hell but it left both of my hands open to play. One dagger sliced across his neck and I quickly followed the other one up with a jab to the heart.- Give the Omega my regards. -I managed to get the words out just before he popped out in a spray of dust. I didn’t even have time to enjoy the kill because someone thought that it was a great idea to literally jump on my back. It was the guy that had ahold of my left arm earlier. He had one arm around my throat and he was cranking down on it pretty fucking hard. I was moments away from spinning him against a wall when I felt teeth at my ear. Oh hell no, this guy was biting the shit outta my ear and there was only one person that I ever wanted doing that. Blood trickled down the side of my face and I just said fuck it all and threw myself backward onto the ground. The impact stole the idiot’s breath and gave me enough time to convince him that he needed to let me go. I stabbed backward blindly with my daggers and he got the idea. I sat up off of him and didn’t waste another minute playing around. He joined his buddy. I stopped to gather my breath and the other two lesser were up and ready to go.- Let’s do this. -Before I even go up I swung one leg out to crack the first guy in the shins real good. He didn’t take too kindly to that and told me as much in a serious of curse words. I spied a two by four on the ground not far away and sacrificed a moment of vulnerability to reach for it before coming up off the ground.- Game on. -I stepped forward and swung for the fences. Hands came up to block the blows but I knew from experience that it still hurt like hell. This I’d actually done before. There was an evil glint to my eyes as I put the wood to these fuckers. Black blood sprayed everywhere and there was a point where I knew that I should just stop and put my dagger through their hearts but I didn’t. I kept swinging, screaming the whole time. When they both hit the ground I finally let the 2x4 drop with an exhausted exhale of air. I palmed my dagger again and took care of the one furthest gone easily. I knelt next to the last one and looked him in the eyes.- I have a message for your Master. You tell him that Dhestroyer is NOT his! You got that? I do not belong to him! -The lesser’s eyes were wide and he nodded his head wearily.- Good. -I stabbed the dagger straight through his heart and got up, dusting myself off. I walked almost mechanically back to the Escalade. It took awhile since I’d run this whole way and now I had a nasty gash in the side to show for it but I made it eventually. The drive back to the mansion was equally as uneventful and I half wished that I actually had somewhere else to go. Whatever… We all have to face our shit eventually… I trudged through the tunnels and straight through the living area of the Pit, headed straight for a first aid kit. I stood in the bathroom and discarded my outer layers on the floor in the corner. I turned to the side to examine the slash in my side. It wasn’t too terribly bad. I cleaned it with a cloth and propped my ass up on the edge of the counter to stitch the wound closed. They weren’t going to be pretty but they would get the job done.-