Falling Short

Butch

-There was always one thing that the Brothers could count on when they went out on patrol with me, I would find the frickin lesser. My built in homing beacon told me where I would find them every time. Tonight was no different, it only took one pass through the bad parts of town before I had found what we were looking for. I was with Phury tonight. I couldn’t say that I was use to fighting alongside the brother but I wasn’t always going to be paired up with Vishous. In some ways it was better to not be teamed up with my nallum all the time because I wasn’t facing down the possibility that he would get hurt. It was equally as damaging if he saw me take a brutal hit. There was the undeniable flip side to that. Together, V and I were an unstoppable force. It was a thing of gruesome beauty to dance that dance with my other half. We knew each others movements and we worked so perfectly that there wasn’t even a need for words. It was difficult moving from something as free flowing as that to join up with a brother that I barely even talked to, let alone fight beside. He always struck me as very proper with little to no sense of humor. Oddly enough that suited me just fine tonight. I was so spun up in my own head that I didn’t want the back and forth that I might have with other brothers. Vishous might not have bothered me… maybe… He knew that I was locking a bunch of shit down. He’d even agreed to help me through it. Honestly though, I didn’t want him to see me like this. The ebb and flow of my demons had risen again to show themselves. There were long stretches of time where I had other things to worry about and I didn’t lose any sleep. Now was not one of those times. It was in the calm, quiet times that I would relive the pain and humiliation. If Vishous hadn’t actually seen the nightmares grab hold of me, I might have just gone on as things where going. You live, you fight, you come back the next night for more. What other choice was there? I hadn’t actually expected Vishous to be able to give me another option. Once again, the male amazed me with the lengths that he would go through for me. I still didn’t quite understand how a little bdsm was supposed to help me. To me that stuff was just for fun to add some spice into things and get V stiffer than a rock. Course I was pretty sure I’d never done it right. It always felt like there was one crucial step that I was missing and that I was disappointing V by not getting with the program. What I had asked him for the other night though… that held more weight to it. I knew it for what it was when I stood there shaking like a leaf. It was kind of like the saying: ‘I don’t know what it is, but I know it when I see it.’ At least he didn’t laugh at me and send me packing. I know for a fact that would have ripped me in two. I’m not even sure why I was worried that he would. It was Vishous I was talking about here, he might pretend to be all cold and tough but I knew the other side of that. It was always very touching to know that I was the only one that he ever shared that with, that I got to see a completely different side to him and it was just for me. Like some kind of gift. The more that I thought about it, the more I realized that I was asking for a side of him that I hadn’t exactly seen before either. It made me nervous as all get out. We knew that we clicked but what if, in this aspect, we didn’t? I shook my head trying to banish the thought and I noticed that Phury had been trying to get my attention for awhile now and had given up because now he was just staring at me dumbfounded. I instantly snapped back to the present and checked to see that my gun was loaded and ready to go. I flashed Phury a smile and shrugged my shoulders a bit.- Marriage… It’ll twist you up. -His eyes went a little wide and he just nodded. I got the feeling male on male wasn’t exactly a topic he was comfortable with so I just left it alone. Live and let live, I always say. Not like I hadn’t been on the other side of that uncomfortable fence before. I liked to think of myself as V-sexual cause there wasn’t another dude out there that turned me on in the slightest. I got out of the BMW and almost slapped myself so that my head wasn’t floating around. It was a good thing that Phury was driving because apparently I was somewhere closer to Mars tonight. What I’d been keeping to myself was the fact that I couldn’t bring myself to suck down any lesser lately. The nightmares were bad enough without inviting chunks of the Omega into my body. So why was I even out here on patrol? They still needed to go down no matter which way you cut it but now I wasn’t playing my role, I was just… recycling. It was kind of embarrassing. ‘You had one job.’ Yeah and I fell short… what’s new? As soon as I saw Phury get out of the car, I took off down a side street. Even with only one leg, the Brother never had a problem keeping up. Besides, he could do that dematting thing that I couldn’t, I had to rely on my own steam. One of the reasons why I always made sure to hit the treadmill with a passion. I almost called the whole night off when I rounded a corner and came face to face with only two damn lesser. Barely worth crawling out of bed. Whatever, one for me one for Phury. I picked the first guy that looked at me funny and threw my knee into his stomach. Screw the guns, I was laying into this guy with fists. An uppercut to the yap will always make someone think twice about messing with you. He reeled back with a spray of black blood. I saw from the corner of my eye that Phury had the other lesser well in hand so I focused on the task at hand. The guy I was wailing on actually turned tail and ran from me. I cursed loudly and followed after him. Yuuup, treadmill definitely helping here. I reached out and grabbed him by the nasty rat tail that he had, I really thought dudes stopped wearing the damn things long ago, and yanked him back around.- It’s not nice to make me run. -I was ready to lay into him again but the guy’s eyes went wide when he heard me talking and he started sputtering. ‘You’re that guy! You used to be one of us.’ I stopped instantly and went cold inside. The look that I gave him was far from pleasant and probably something closer to I’m going to shit down your throat if you don’t shut the fuck up right now. He cringed a bit and waved his hands. ‘I didn’t mean it like that. You can help me. Please man. I can’t go back there to Him. I don’t belong here, I was just trying to make a buck.’ My lip curled upward as I listened to the punk. Truth was, he was right. No one deserved to be put through that shit. But I wasn’t about to invite the big bad ugly in just because of this guy. ‘I heard if you get em, they don’t come back. He’s still pissed bout losing that forelesser for good. Ya know, the one you took out? Heck he’s pretty mad bout losing you for that matter. I dunno how you did it man but damn I’m envious. I’d give anything to get off this crazy ride.’ I felt bad for the guy, I really did. I knew what they all went through and I’d only touched on the tip of that iceberg.- I can’t. He’s visiting my nightmares and I just can’t take that inside of me right now without going mad. -I watched the change come over the lesser. He had held out some kind of hope and now it was all smashed on the rocks because I was too pussy to handle my shit. His face twisted and he shouted out in rage as he came at me. ‘You sonofabitch! You were my only hope!’ I didn’t even think about it, my dagger was in my hand and it came up to meet his wild charge with a punch straight through the heart. I could still see agony on his features as he disappeared in a cloud of dust. I stood there in one spot for a long time. I wasn’t even sure if I was breathing but I guess I must have been because I didn’t pass out. I only came to when Phury grabbed my shoulder and shook me. I blinked a few times and turned back to look at him.- I’m good. Let’s go home.