V
Rolling out of bed, at first I avert my eyes from the already empty spot next to me, I had felt the bed dip when Butch got up and damn I felt his hand as he touched me. It took all my control not to get up and plead with him to stay, as soon as the door had shut behind him the dread settled heavy throughout me. Scrubbing my hand up and down my face, I pushed off the bed and looked around at the thrown sheets and covers and scattered clothes. A small smiled tugged at my lips as I thought back to the past few days and nights and I couldn’t resist picking up the pillow that Butch had been sleeping on and bringing it to my nose. Yeah it didn’t even surprise me when my eyes slid close as I inhaled my males natural rich scent, it also didn’t surprise me when my body started to hum from the aroma. Shaking my head I went about and straightened the bed up but sure as fuck not changing the sheets and grabbed up the clothes and tossed them in the bathroom. Rolling my shoulders and stretching out some, I went ahead and took a shower. My hands slowly roamed over the areas almost in an exact trail that Butch’s hands had taken just the night before and fuck, I had to groan and finish up or I would be jerking off in no time. Stepping out, I grabbed up the towel and wrapped it low on my hips, just doing a quick shake with my fingers through my hair; I went to my makeshift desk and copped a squat. As always in seconds I had the screens up and first bit I wanted was already on there, Butch made it in time for his Psych appointment and the verdict wasn’t in yet but I read and re-read his statement. “Fucking Bastards, crazy” Chuckling good heartedly with some kick ass pride swelling in my chest when I took in his last answer to the shrink. All I could do was grin like a fool, pushing back I got up and damn if the craziest idea didn’t just click in my head and I didn’t think it through I just went with it. Grabbing up some clean clothes, I foregoes the leathers and pulled on a rare pair of black jeans and stuck with the black T-shirt and finished it off with my gear and shit kickers and Sox cap. With my head set on my plan I drove the SUV into town and parked at a 24 hour market and yes I went fucking shopping, grabbing up some steaks and tossing in some potatoes along with stuff to make Butch something that I hoped like hell I could pull off for dessert and ending with a bottle of lag. I dropped my loot on the counter and pulled the cap down low over my face, didn’t really matter, I noticed she seemed to concentrate hard on not looking up at me anyway. Shrugging my shoulders, I tossed the money down and took my stuff back out to the Escalade and heading back to my warehouse. I parked next to Butch’s car, I dropped my stuff in the small galley kitchen and hopped in the car and took it back to its owner. I couldn’t help but look up at the window and think about going up but decided against it and left the keys in the ashtray, then walked to the small alley and dematted back to my place. Once back inside I went to work on it all, had every sparse pan and utensil I owned out and cooking up a storm, but in between that I grabbed up my cell and sent a txt to Butch “Why don’t you swing by and catch the game I recorded, in case you didn’t know, I left your car parked where I found it.” Chuckling as I sent it and it quickly turned to a harsh frown when I see the smoke rolling out of the oven. “Fuck”
Butch
-I felt my phone go off in my pocket and I debated just ignoring it altogether. I had a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach who it was and I wasn’t ready for this conversation. I wasn’t sure that I would ever be ready for it. I lifted my head off the table and noticed that my improvised icepack had thawed out.- Perfect. -I picked bag of peas up and tossed it on the counter. I had to cross my arm over my body to dig my phone out of my pocket with my good hand. The number didn’t show up on my phone. I hadn’t really expected it to. With a heavy sigh I read the message, and reread it. My red-rimmed eyes refused to focus. God… Why couldn’t the guy be an asshole? It would be so much easier if he was an asshole. I set the phone on the table and attempted a clumsy reply with my left hand.- cant hav 2 go 2 er ty 4 car -I had to groan as I hit send. Great text skills there douchebag. My hand was getting worse though and it needed to be set properly or I was fucked for good. I stood up from the chair and held my arm close to my chest as I made my way out of the apartment. I wasn’t going to be able to hold this shit off for very long. Eventually I would just have to step up to the plate and completely crush my beloved’s heart.- FUCK! -I sat down heavily in my car and looked over to see the keys sitting there all pretty as you please. In this neighborhood that was a recipe for disaster. That had to mean that he had just been here. I reached forward and felt the heat from the engine still. I glanced around to see if I could see him before firing up the car and hauling my ass to the hospital.-
V
I had a permanent grin in place on my face and damn for the first time the whole place smelled welcoming with all the different aroma’s floating through the air. I had a couple plates laid out and some clean glasses and was half way through cooking the steaks when my phone buzzed and moved around on the counter. Grabbing up the phone, I ran my thumb across the touch screen and instantly my face dropped, eyes narrowed and some odd as fuck feeling knotted up in my gut. I didn’t bother responding to the reply, I just shut everything down and grabbed up my jacket, Sox cap and reloaded my gear back in place. Stepping over to my computers, I leaned over and pulled up the all the local hospitals within the vicinity of Butch’s apartment and bingo I believed found the one you’d land at. I kept looping the vague as fuck message in my mind and damn I was coming up with wacked out shit. Growling out in some harsh frustration, I was just glad that it was night and so I dematted right in the back of the hospital and stalked around until I found the E.R Entrance and walked in.
Butch
-Apparently my mangled hand hadn’t warranted any sort of immediate attention. I’d been told to sit and wait. So I slumped down in a very uncomfortable chair and stared at the floor. At least they had been nice enough to give me an actual icepack. I counted ever dot on the tile between my feet, twice just to confirm that I got it right the first time. Normally I would have taken note of who else was in the room and where all the exits were, maybe even occupied my mind with more details, but tonight was for shit and I didn’t feel like it. Even so it wasn’t hard to notice when the room got suddenly quiet. I turned to see who would cause such a reaction and cursed under my breath. I really should have known that he wouldn’t let that go, hell I wouldn’t have. I really wasn’t thinking clearly. I ducked my head again but I couldn’t help but watch him move. He had easy, almost sensual movements of a jungle cat. Striking, gorgeous and a hundred percent deadly.-
V
The poor fluorescent lighting was for shit,and I just shook my head at the humans that worked under such screwed conditions. I made no eye contact and kept my head down some, but it wasn’t hard to tell that my entrance hadn’t gone unnoticed, it would have be funny had I been in the mood to think about it. As it was I was zeroed in on one thing and the rest of them be damned. My boots sounded heavy as I walked across the tile flooring and I stopped on a dime when I picked up the scent that I knew intimately. Turning my head I scanned the waiting area and picked out the broad thick figure slouched down in one of the chairs. Just seeing Butch sitting sent some form of relief through my system and I walked past the rows of gawking beings until I slid down into the seat next to Butch. It was obvious with the ice pack in place, what was the issue. “What gives? Have a fight with a concrete wall or did they deny you, your 5th free cup of coffee at Dunkin Doughnuts?”
Butch
-I huffed out a laugh and shook my head. God, I was going miss him. I could feel it settle into my chest like a lead weight. I’d finally found my one and only and I couldn’t even hang on to him. I chewed the inside of my mouth and tried to pull myself together.- Stole something from a girl actually. -I couldn’t even bring myself to laugh at my own joke. I pulled away the ice and held up my fucked up hand.-Turns out she had one hell of a grip. -I dropped my hand back down and replaced the pack which seemed to take away from the dull throb at least. My mind was scrambling on where to begin.- Listen, V. We need to talk but this isn’t exactly the ideal setting if you know what I mean. -Rolling my eyes toward everyone else in the waiting room.-
V
I let out a low whistle when I see the state of your hand but the story behind was full of bullshit stink, I knew that as well as I knew the guy sitting two rows over was only here for a fix. “Looks like someone repeatedly jacked your hand in a truck door, more like it.” I almost reached out to take a hold of it and get a better look but I kept myself in check and and just raised a brow under the Sox cap. “That sounds fucking ominous as hell.” Shrugging I sit back and examined your side profile and that doom and gloom came back like rolling thunder. “Yeah, not the place, and I think I’m wiggen these peeps out more than they already are, I’ll hang out in the parking lot till you’re done.” I reach up and pull the cap down lower before I stand up and look down at you. “Just to make sure you make it home ok and no females do anymore damage to any other body parts.”
Butch
-I followed the lines of your body as you stood up. Taking in everything from your boots on up in a slow and methodical fashion. I stored it carefully in a file in the back of my head before nodding back to you. It was all I could do to keep my leg from thumping nervously. I had to practically lay across my knee in an awkward display. The more I tried to attempt to make it look natural, the worse it got. I gave up altogether and just let the thing rabbit away. I heard them call my name and practically jumped across the room, springing from my chair and following the nurse through the doors.-
V
Nodding I walked back through the rolls of cheap chairs and the people with their heads bowed down and made it through the door. It would have been nice if the night air had released some up the pent up tension in my shoulders but no, it only felt stale and hollow. I scanned the area once more before walking over to where I spotted Butch car parked at and leaned my ass against it, with my boots crossing at the ankles and my arms folded over my chest. Butch had said ‘Talk’ WTF does that shit mean, hell I have said more words in the past few days then I had in my whole damn life, how many more does Butch want. I couldn’t stop the clinching of my jaw muscles no more than I could shut my head down from drilling over this ‘Talk’ .
Butch
-I admit that I screamed like a little girl when they popped my fingers back into place. I’d waited way too long to drag my ass down here and I was paying for it now. They wrote me a wonderful script for pain meds and sent me on my way after they bandaged me up six ways from sunday. I couldn’t count on using that hand to jack off with any time soon. I came out with my hand in its own personal carrying case and spotted V leaning against my car all casual-like. I straightened my shoulders back and sucked it up. It was now or never and I would be damned if I was the cause of his death. As much as I pretended to have the courage, my feet still moved me at a snail’s pace across the lot. When I finally stood in front of him I found that I couldn’t look into his eyes. There was no way in hell I could watch the fall out of what I was about to do. I cleared my throat and examined the treads in my tires like I would find the answers there. It took me what seemed like centuries before I finally said anything.- We can’t be together anymore, V. We are from two drastically different worlds and I just don’t think that it will work out.
V
My head tilted back when you came through the exit doors of the ER and I eyed the sling that now braced your arm in place. I wondered yet again what the fuck the true story behind that was but didn’t push it home, especially when it was so damn obvious how slow you were suddenly taking to walk across the parking lot. I kept my stance up against the car and something in the back of my head was sending off warning signs, but for the first time I didn’t want to listen. I was just getting ready to crack a joke on the hand when you could barely look up at me and that had my lips thinning out and all words stopping in their tracks. In those seconds that strung on far too damn long I could hear the pickup rate of your heart and realized it was matching that of my own racing beat. Still when the words that came out of your mouth hit me, I had to shake my head to replay them to be sure I heard them right. “Opposites attract Butch, no doubt your wiggen over all the shit I told you, it’s to be expected. Just give it time to sync in all the way in and we’ll be good to go.” I rejected the shit instantly no fuck this, it was just an over load and things would be good again; I just had to make you see that part.
Butch
-I had to wince at your response. I shifted on my feet some and rubbed the back of my neck with my good hand. Truth was, that shit had sunk in a lot faster than I expected and I was fine with all of your insane crap. I wanted it all but I couldn’t have it. I took a step back to keep myself from caving. I squared my shoulders and folded my arm across my chest by my sling. I had to keep you away from me but I wasn’t going to lie to you. I slowly lifted my head and didn’t hide the tear that ran down my cheek.- I can’t be with you. In the morning, I am going to put in for a transfer.
V
My brow cocked even higher when you took a step back away from me, so I kept my place and fought the urge to drag you to me. As soon as I seen that lone tear roll down your face I was off the car and advancing to stand practically nose to nose with you. “Why?” I did manage to keep my arms at my sides and not up around you where they wanted to be. So I dug my fingers into my palms and stood there waiting to know what in the fuck would keep you from me.
Butch
-I sucked in a breath when you stepped closer and I found myself staring at your chin. My mind ran through about ten different things that I could say but I said none of them.- Because I love you more than I value my own life. -I lifted my chin some and swallowed before going on.- You don’t want to watch me grow old and die anyway. -I flashed a sad smile and stepped around you to get closer to my car.-
V
To say my lungs stopped inhaling when I heard that statement come from Butch would be putting it way too damn mildly. I almost had to beat my own hands on my chest to get them to kick back up but that was unnecessary. All it took was for Butch to walk away and I was pulling air back in and I reaching the car when Butch did. “I want to watch every damn thing you do, young and old.” Shaking my head, I reached up and laid my leather clad hand against Butch’s jaw. My eyes for the first time casting a eerily darkness in them. “Don’t do this Butch, I’m not going anywhere but I need you to do this with me. Without you I’m already dead either way”
Butch
-My head tipped into your hand. It was second nature to me already in just this short time that we had been together.- I don’t have a choice. -I pulled my head back reluctantly and took another step to opened the car door. I really didn’t want to resort to hurtful shit that I had racing through my head. The lies that I knew would drive you away.- You’ll be fine without me, V. You have done it before, you can do it again. -Sitting down heavily in the car and looking up at you.- Besides, my doctor will start getting suspicious if I keep showing up like this. -Lifting my injured hand slightly.-
V
My thumbed rubbed over your face when you pressed against my hand and that had a sliver of heat starting in the pit of my stomach. It was soon extinguished when you stepped away from me yet a fucking gain. “What the hell do you mean you don’t have a choice?” I turned and gripped the door, hell I could rip the damn car apart with the power radiating through me at this moment. “No, on that your wrong Butch, this with you I have never done before with another and never fucking will so say say what the fuck it is and quit pussy footing around with what the fuck ever you’re not saying to me” I was hanging between the what the fuck feeling and like there was some kind of damn riddle I should be able to figure out but was just outside of my grasp, especially when you raised your hand, indicating the injury. “What does your hand haft to do with me, or the Dr, this evasive shit needs to chill.”
Butch
-I looked from your hand, up your arm and to your face. My voice took on a sharper tone and I narrowed my eyes.- I told you. I stole something from a girl and she crushed my hand for it. -Twisting some and glaring at your hand that kept me from going.- Do you honestly think that if she was from my world she could have done that? -I bit off my words between clenched teeth. This whole situation had spun me for a wild loop and I needed to get to the point where I could just go home and lick my wounds.- I can’t compete with that shit and I’m not going to watch you die. Now let go of my damn car.
V
My eyes flashed dangerously and I leaned down into the car, every part of me was sparking and spiraling at the same time. “Ok Butch, how about I use the chalk board and explain evasive to you” I let go of the damn door and crouched down on my haunches to get even closer and still stop the door from shutting. “Who the fuck is this bitch that crushed you and by your statement she is not human so that leaves Vamp or Lesser, fucking pick one so I can get to bleeding who the fuck ever is in our way.”
Butch
-I kept my eyes narrowed as I replied to you. I needed to keep my anger, it would serve me well for this next part.- If I knew who or what the fuck she was I wouldn’t tell you. I know exactly what you will do and she’s already made it clear that your life was on the line. -Grabbing your chin in my hand and turning my gaze directly into yours.- You will either let me go and leave me alone or I will go out and find myself a girlfriend, not just a casual fuck, an honest to god girlfriend.
V
Pulling my face back as if those very words had hit me like a hammer to the head, I looked at you wordlessly for a second and stood up. “It’s ok Butch, do you what you got to do.” Pulling my cap down lower I nodded down at you. “You could have started with that truth in the first place instead of the Bullshit about stealing something from some female and my life being on the line.” Shrugging my already sagging shoulders. “Didn’t peg you for the dramatics type, almost had me believing I was worthy of a male like you.” I looked around and scanned the area, not really giving a fuck who was around. “I’ll leave you to your life now, and don’t worry about that transfer; you have my word that I won’t be back.” I gave one last look before I dematted from the almost empty parking lot feeling as if someone had did an autopsy on me while I still breathed.
Butch
-It was a hollow fucking threat and I knew it but I had to drive V away. Unfortunately it worked all too well. All of the color drained from my face as I watched him stand up. How I managed to stay firmly planted in my seat I’ll never know. I couldn’t say anything in reply, it would have given my stupid shit away. I stared at the empty space where he had stood for what seemed like hours. Finally, almost mechanically turning and closing the door to my car. I drooped my head down on my arm dangling over the steering wheel and just let it all go. My shoulders bobbed up and down as I let the tears flow. I didn’t even care that I was in the middle of a parking lot at night. I wasn’t concerned with getting anywhere anymore. None of it fucking mattered. I’d done my job and was left with the shattered remains. Hurray for me.-
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